自恋狂

手机里，648 张照片
手提电脑里，1218张照片
2006年的年头至今，我已经拍了1218张照片！
真的不敢相信！！
呵呵呵~~

我自认是一个爱玩自拍的女生（erm..我是女生么？）
我真地以为我的自拍照会多过我与别人一起拍的照片
但，结果显示出
呵呵呵，几乎一样多！

突然好想分享一些照片
一些我不曾分享的照片
哈哈哈~~

好！

旅程开始啦！

我的自拍照以及单人照！呵呵呵呵~

guess what? 这可是我自己绑的哟。我花了整整3个小时绑的！哈哈哈哈！!好有成就感!

斗鸡眼！不好意识，就是玩玩罢了。一个人在酒店里，无聊嘛，就酱咯！okla, 我知道，很丑！

没什么，回家路程，就是有点无聊。 可怜的妈妈，要载我这个刁蛮的女儿回家。

新买的彩色隐形眼镜，我的第一对隐形眼镜！糟糕，怎么觉得我的样子怪怪的？

-在朋友的宿舍- 戴眼镜的我，是不是看起来比较斯文呢？但，我可不好欺负哟！

看什么看？相不相信我会咬你呢？不要挑战我，你会后悔的！

熬夜，样子有些恐怖，不可以见人。怎么眼睛看起来那么无神？糟糕！

调皮的我！吐出舌头，闭上一只眼睛，感觉如何？（感觉像智障）

其实它的focus是在于眼睫毛。Fasio睫毛膏, 赞！尽管搓揉你的眼睛，也不会有什么尴尬的事发生。
好累哟，好想睡觉。但，又睡不着。好大一个黑眼袋！哎哟，怎么见人啦！

第一次让人拍我的单人照。谢谢。感觉不错。呵呵呵~

我与朋友们的照片！大头照和生活照。

中学时的朋友。关系：情侣-彭先生和陈小姐；林先生和我。（我的脸很圆啦）

在外婆家- 我的妹妹。很难得我们可以一起拍大头照。

小学同学-罗先生。一位很有梦想以及口才很好的男生。加油！

中学时认识的朋友-钟先生。他可是能写出一手好字！真得很美！

我的初恋-林先生。一位出色的机械操员。再见亦是朋友。

大学同学-陈先生。一位很搞笑的男生。他的冷笑话可真的是一流！

1-U - 一位我崇拜的朋友，张先生。独自一个人在海外，要好好照顾自己！想你~

坦白说，我忘记这位小妹妹的名字了。真得很不好意思。但，我很喜欢她。

终于有的休息了，谢小姐（右一）好像很无奈哟。 我呢（左一）则趁着有时间发几则短训。

呵呵呵呵~嘟着嘴巴干啥？我好想念这个baby. (T.T)

Lecture Hall, AE-1- chyi chyi， 想念你呐。好好加油哟！

After poster presentation- 哎哟，什么事哦？怎么我一点也不觉得害羞？

Exhibition Area - presentation 完毕，是时候留张照片作纪念了。

After oral presentation during research colloqium- 我的黄脸公，谢小姐。怎么我好像被下着了？

SR1.2-presentation完毕，是时候拍照了。（左起）我-陈小姐，黄脸公-谢小姐，Baby [J]-叶小姐。

1-U, Forever21- 宝贝，你看那里哟？镜头不在那里啦。>.<

中秋晚会- 可怜，要演一个5岁的小孩子，还得背着spiderman的书包。哈哈哈

Main Block, Loyal Foyer- 玩亲亲。事先声明，我们可不是雷丝边。

Main Block, Lower Foyer - 宝贝，没有人能够像你一样的把我心房打开。你是我唯一相信的人。

好朋友的女朋友- 陈小姐。很美，也很友善。一位很会打交道的女孩。

中学时的朋友- 陈小姐。一位很忠诚于感情， 很会打扮的女孩。

朋友的朋友- Jessica. 一位看似很懦弱的女孩，但，它却是一位很坚强很独立的女孩。

中学毕业后，大家都很少聚在一起了。大家都各忙各的。真的托林先生的福，要不然可真的没什么机会碰面了。大家一起加油吧!

乌龟家族的老大-张先生。一位唱歌满好听，有责任感的男人。

我的老公-Mandy. 一位很放得开的女生。

-旅程结束-

大马眼 - eye on Malaysia-

哎哟，为什么不是紫色的？

但，它真得很美，也很珍贵！

我终于登上你了！！

好有成就感哟！！ 哈哈哈~




本小姐一向来都是没什么耐性，更别说是要我排队或是等人。对不起，我就是不喜欢浪费我的时间在做这些事。所以，要与我约会，请你买好票，订好位子，准时载我。我就是没耐性等人。你要说我没情趣也罢，说我骄傲也罢，我就是不喜欢。这就是我！ 怎样？不爽吗？不喜欢就别靠近我。要靠近我？那就得接受我的刁难。

但，奇迹般的，我竟然花了将近半个小时的时间在排队。

真的好谢谢那位陪我到哪儿的他，谢谢他逗我开心，与我聊个天南地北 until forget the time。 谢谢你！但不要再弄得我脸红了！！ >.<


还好我没有畏高症！要不然真的很难享受高高在上的感觉。

谢谢你的陪伴你的笑话，要不然， 我真的会一直盯着手表看，and 数着我到底花了多久时间在等。








突然想起陈奕迅的‘幸福摩天轮’

为什么人们就是喜欢登上摩天轮？摩天轮真的象征着幸福吗?

可惜，马来西亚的摩天轮即将被拆了，那么，人们的幸福是否也即将面临结束呢？

幸福，真的应该要把握以及珍惜。。。




哎哟，为什么不识紫色？

哈哈，不好意思，我慢了，所以错过了。

再过几天，后面的东东就会不见了，titiwangsa 的人潮依然会那么多吗？

我

突然觉得很lost

我觉得很累

我觉得无助

我想逃避

我想安静

突然觉得很down

我觉得惆怅

我觉得束缚

我想放弃

我想飞翔

黑色白色

我属于灰色

你的他的

我属于自己的

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1

TEN ways to win my heart:

1. Understand me, but not read through me
2. Tolerate with me, but not over pleasing me
3. Trust me regardless what people comment on me
4. Hug me tightly as if scare I will run away from you
5. I’m your personal listener and financial planner
6. Be there for me whenever I need your help badly
7. Massage for me, only for me
8. Love me, unconditional love
9. Allow me to explore and treasure my life, no restriction, I need freedom badly
10. Be yourself, show me your real self, as genuine as you can

NINE ways to annoy me:

1. When you think you are so understand me
2. When you are busy about my life
3. When you take my things without ask the permission from me
4. When you talk something wrong but insist you are right
5. When you over dependent on me
6. When you blame on me without any vivid evidence
7. When you break your promise
8. When you approach me with evil intention or motives
9. When you remain silent on the task you don’t know how to work on

EIGHT things I stressed in my life:

1. Sincerity
2. Knowledge
3. Efforts
4. Genuineness
5. Love
6. Trust
7. Forgiveness
8. Right

SEVEN essences in my relationship:

1. Honest
2. Freedom, Right
3. Manners
4. Privacy
5. Emotional intimacy
6. Communication
7. Understanding

SIX of my favorite lessons:

1. Take one at one time
2. Do not ever preoccupied with stabilities, be aware of unexpected outcomes
3. Love and forgiveness
4. Mr. Right should be someone who able to help you build up a stronger identity and treasure your strengths
5. No-one can harm ourselves unless we give them the chances to hurt us
6. Help people but not to create dependency

FIVE ways to comfort me when I’m sad:

1. Sit beside me silently and prepare tissues for me, just in case I need it
2. Do not lecture me firmly, but use counseling skills to confront my confusion
3. Listen to my nags and never stop me from nagging or story-telling
4. Stand still and let me kick you and bite you
5. Hug me and kiss on my forehead

FOUR things I’m afraid of:

1. Alone in the dark
2. Insects and animals
3. Losing my uniqueness
4. Lost in my own world

THREE persons that I wouldn’t give up all the time:

1. Myself
2. Family members
3. My significant one

TWO of my favorite items on table:

1. Laptop
2. Stereo Headphone

ONE thing I want to do right now:

S-L-E-E-P.

Cant' live better without you

Haha... it's my turn to say so:" I CAN'T LIVE BETTER WITHOUT YOU" Needless to guess who I refer to, it's you, my baby [J]ocey.

People always asked:"How could I live without you?" But they always forgotten that they came to this world alone and they need to learn to handle things independently. No one could determine what kinds of life we will have and at the same time, we live for ourselves instead of for others. And thus, for you and me, both of us know WE MANAGE TO LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER,STILL, just the matter of WE CAN'T LIVE BETTER WITHOUT EACH OTHER.

Recently, there were something happened on me, and, once again I put myself into the state of confusion. I'm doubt with my decision and need someone to talk badly. Need confrontation badly at that moment [counselor needed =p].

I had been struggled for couples of days, without disclosed the details to others because I don't think they can help me. The more I think, the more I ruminate. You know la, you know how worse the situation will become if the one keep ruminating on something over and over again, like no end in the world. Honestly, my days were suck in the previous week.

Finally... it's really finally, I decided to call you instead of sms with you. I'm glad that you are with me when I need to talk badly. It was the first time I called someone and chatted for so long time. Haha, you took my first time. blek* Even though you are not beside me, but I could feel the emotional intimacies and supports from you. Aiyo, back to KL asap la, so damn miss you lo. (T.T)

I couldn't recall since when we became such close, and don even able to recall how much crazy things we crapped in the past. What I know is, when I got you in my life, my life will be better. I can't believe I said this to you, LOL.

You're right, my Mr.Right should be someone who can helps me to build up a stronger identity and treasure my strengths. When talked to you, I found myself. Aiyo... why you are not a man, or why I'm not a man, or else, sure I will choose to attach to you. wink* AIks... so bad, both of us are girls. aiyayaya.... sweat*

p/s: we are not lesbian. sigh, feel sien in explaning in this jor.

Stand still Rachel!

Suddenly feel like wanna escape from my life, wanna to ignore everything that happens around me, my life had overwhelmed by my own confusion. Sounds so funny and ridiculous? Hahaha, indeed, I feel the same too. I'm laughing at myself. "What a failure".

There is no one able to make the decision for me, I m the one who have the right and I'm the one who supposed to make the decision for myself. I know this, and thus, I need time to organize my thoughts and think probably what I want actually. Can't let others influence on my decision anymore.

Within this year, year 2007, I kept on thinking and searching my identity, what a joke, I still not able to see through on myself, ain't for others. As I always tell others, "do not ever try to understand me, because you just cant make it, I'm just unpredictable"

STAND STILL RACHEL, HOLD TIGHT ON YOUR DECISION!! LIVE FOR YOUR OWN.

Needless to wait for me

Still remember what you told me before? You said:"I don care if now is the suitable time for me to confess, what I know is I need to appreciate the time I have and grab any opportunities to say and do what I want to do". But what's happening now? You choose to tell me on the day you think its special. You rather wait for the time instead of tell me your decision once you got it. What you said is incongruent with what you plan. Afterall, you're still self-centered. You do what you think its correct.

The issues we argue before will still remain there, it wont be disappeared. Facts are facts, we cant change out surname though, unless we are re-born. Chances had been given to you before, its just the matter you never appreciate them. You choose to give up on me due to your family and the issues they brought up at last. Thus, for sure, you will repeat it again when they come out the same issues in future, and, I'll sad for another time relatively.

I'm not longer irrational, love isn't everything in my relationship anymore. Even though love is important in a relationship, but the one who love me needs to respect and loves my parents as well, because they are the one who brought me to this world. Without them, I wont be here. If the one who loves me don't know how to loves and respects my parents, the sincerity and love he lays on me are really questionable.

The memories we had coundn't be deleted, but, I rather choose to keep them as a memory than put myself into the darkness again. Thus, needless to wait for me anymore. I wont repeat the mistake for twice. If I really back to your side, this represent I'm going to give you another chance to hurt me again and I'm going to fool myself for twice too. It;s my fault to hesitate when you told me so, I shouldn't have such hesitation. I shouldn't hurt the one who love me now and trying his best to out effort on our relationship. To be frank, I felt disappointed on you as you spoiled the hopes you gave on me and abused the trust I put on you. And the most important thing is, the lvoe feelings that I laid on you had faded since the day we argue and broke up. There is no "U-turn" in relationship.

And, now, I announce that I decide to enjoy my present and let go of the past.

如果一个男人真的爱你

我喜欢这篇“文章”， 但也作了些许的改变

如果一个男人真的爱你
他的手机会为你24小时开机
在你最需要他的时候
可以随时找到他
因为他爱你
所以会时时担心你

如果一个男人爱你
他会很自豪的告诉他的朋友与家人
你是他最爱的女人
当然并不是时时挂在嘴上
而是用一种行动去告诉别人
你是他最爱的女人！
因为有了你
他觉得很骄傲
无论你是不是真的很优秀

如果一个男人真的爱你
他会把除了工作之外的很多时间都给你
当然会偶尔和朋友去聚会
因为他想时时刻刻都看见你

如果一个男人真的爱你
他会毫不吝啬的给你物质上的付出
（我并不是说所有的女孩子都应该物质化,这种付出是他心甘情愿的）
因为他觉得他所有辛苦的努力
就是为了让你过上很幸福的生活
他爱你
不想让你过的那么艰苦

如果一个男人真的爱你
他绝对不会骂你
在你很任性的时候任你发泄
当你任性过去的时候
会很委屈的说：
“宝贝,我又作错什么了？你可以告诉我,我一定改,千万不要生气,那样会把身体气坏的”

如果一个男人真的爱你
他就不在乎陪你逛街会浪费他多少出去自由的机会
因为他甘愿失去那种所谓的自由
他珍惜能和你一起的时间

如果一个男人真的爱你
无论你们在一起多久
都会陪你 一起爬山,看海,看星星,看日落
因为他知道你渴望这样的浪漫
他不想让你觉得时间是爱情的坟墓

如果一个男人真的爱你
他绝对不会嚷嚷着叫你去减肥
但是这个时候你自己一定要去健康减肥
因为苗条的女人确实可以叫人赏心悦目
因为你的健康是他最关心的

如果一个男人真的爱你
他不会留恋与网络与别的小妹眉甜言蜜语
因为对你他都有说不完的爱
哪有那心思和别人废话

如果 一个男人真的爱你
他不会还和前女友很密切联系
虽说分手了还是朋友
在她困难的时候可以去帮助她
但是不会超过朋友的底线

如果一个男人真的爱你
他在每天很辛苦的工作回到家的时候
会抱着你说：
“老婆,我回来了”
他爱你,他绝对不会把不快乐带给你！

如果一个男人真的爱你
他会在清晨上班的时候
亲吻你的眼睛
满足的说：
“宝贝,我上班去了！”

如果一个男人真的爱你
他绝对不会忍心背叛你
无论出于什么样的动机。。
因为在他眼里,你是最美的。。
即便你不是

如果一个男人真的爱你
他会在你故意说要离开的时候
撒娇的不和你分开
而在你真的想离开的时候
就会放你走
即便他真的不愿意放手
因为他爱你
只希望你幸福。。。

如果一个男人真的爱你
那么你会比他的事业更重要
他绝对不会以事业为借口推脱你
更不会以事业为理由把你给甩了

如果一个男人真的爱你
他不会陪这所谓的客户去做所谓的应酬
(很多男人把找小姐说是谈生意需要）
他宁可不要这个业务
世界上又不是只有这个业务

如果一个男人真的爱你
他绝对不会一次次把你推向那冰冷的手术台
更不会让你一个人孤孤单单

如果一个男人真得很爱你
他会很在乎他给你许下的承诺
但
他不会随意的许下承诺
因为他不想让你失望

...

confusing..... confusing..... confusing.....
can I have someone to tell me if the decision I made is a correct chosen?
I need reassurance so badly!!
Once again, fooling myself again and lost in my own world again.

I need counseling.
Will go for counseling with Dr.B during holiday.
Who am I?
What I want?
I need time to re-consider them again and again.

I was irrational that time, I know.

笑看人生

人，总得经历生老病死，这是生命的一个循环
也许，某个他正在努力的抗病魔
也许，某个他已经在这循环的正中央
也许，某个他比我们早经历这循环
也许，也许。。。。。

人生不如意的事十之八九
既然生命有它自己的规律和原则
那么
为什么不将那不完美的是变成完美？
为什么那么执著于某件事？
放开自己，胸膛也会同时敞开

她的离去
对，是真得很可惜， 很伤心
但
伤感并不代表眼泪一定要在眼眶里打转
事情已经发生
我们还能做些什么？
说笑聊个东南西北都只是要分散注意力
总在某个话题逗留
对大家多没好处
反之
只会勾起大家的伤心

听到消息
确实很伤心 愣在哪儿
聚在一起
聊个你我他 分散注意力
伤心事难免的
但我们依然得走我们自己的路
笑看人生
世界自然会漂亮很多
人也不会太执著

message to baby [J]

To baby [J]:

If I'm a man, I'll marry you. Unfortunately, I'm not.
If girl could married girl, I'll marry you, for sure.

Nothing is perfect in the world, but what makes us perfect is our FRIENDSHIP
-Once friend, forever friend-
Sounds so lame? fake? You know me well than others, you know I meant it

Back to reality, you're my best friend (should be more than that)
Undeniable, you're a tough and smart girl, but sometimes tend to hide your feelings from others
Especially to the recent matter, I just don know how could you keep it for such a long period of time without telling anyone
Feel so bad and frustrated when listened to that matter
Feel so guilty and bad of my careless
I thought you'll be okay when with him
But things turn up with disappoitments
From now on, need to protect you more and sense for you (ngiek ngiek, I bet you know what i mean with the 'sense')

The faker (yes, its you) go away from her
You're abusing the trust she relied on you
You're not only a faker, but a pretender
Let's see what kind of consequences you'll receive later in life

[J], listen to your heart
Follow the intuition and the signals
And, decide for yourself
I'll pray for you =)

-Rachel-

不寻常的我

喜欢对着你口是心非
喜欢看着你迷人的眼睛
喜欢感受你那无私的爱
喜欢你的宽宏大量
人家就是喜欢你嘛~

真得很不寻常
到底怎么了?
我竟然想要撒娇!
难道一个男子性格的我
也有变成女人的一天？
呵呵呵呵~

对！
我真地想撒娇，就只为你撒娇
认识我的人都晓得
要我撒娇，哼！下半辈子吧！
但，很自然的
我竟想对着你，撒嗲一下
做你唯一的宝贝

我要抱抱， 就只要你的拥抱
快快快，我要抱抱啦！

I want hug hug~

I want hug hug~
Sweetest hug I ever had
A hug from you is enough to make me feel warm
A hug from you is enough to make me feel loved
Regardless when I need you, for sure you will be there for me

I want hug hug~
"nah, hug hug"
I never expected will get your reply in the early morning
muacks~
Thanks for pampering me
Thanks for loving me
And, thanks GOD for letting me, this evil girl, to know you, this amazing guy

What I see from you?
First, the importance of not change our uniqueness to suit somebody else
Second, genuineness of one-self and open-hearted
Third, accept our family background and who we are, no blames occur
Fourth, no restriction in relationship, give out the freedom she supposed to has
Fifth, willingness to communicate
Sixth, confident and fully trust on me
Seventh, tolerance and accept the fact that I'll still go out with guys even though I got you
Eighth, a man with a mature thoughts but act like a child in front of me, 'xiao hai zi'
-I believe, what I see from you may increase as the time pass =) -