R@cHeL 漂浮天蝎蕾切尔

累了

2009-04-28T21:06:00.003+08:00

我累了心累了。。。

再也无能为力了。。。

我尽力了，但还是改变不了什么。。。

丁点的变化都没有。。。

我无言以对，你依然觉得自己是对的。。。

不被珍惜不被谅解。。。

我的心好痛碎了撒落满地拼凑不起来。。。

我真的累了。。。

算了吧。。。

欲哭无泪干了无供应了。。。

该任由你摆布了吧？

该变成你的专署傀儡了吧？

这是你要的结局吗？

PLease

2009-04-10T23:49:00.003+08:00

What you want from me???? What you want from me huh???? Tell me!!! Tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is me, when I said I don't want to talk, I mean it. Why you just cant get the meaning? Yeah, you did the correct response in the first sentence that came from your mouth, but not the next. Why you still wanna to say: "Just tell me what is it all about" after I told you is not relavant to you? Why?? I don understand. Really dont understand.

I know you want to know what happen to me and what makes me so frustrated, but it is not the right time for me to tell you what happened. I am in piss! I know you have the intention to try to solve the problem for me, but I just want to remain silent in that time, why you cant understand about this??? I am not a typical girl, I dont want any verbal comfort when I am sad, just leave me alone and be there for me, when I want to tell, I will tell when I am alright. But why you still ask when I will tell you?? WHy???

Why you keep suspecting I will share the problem to others and leave you behind as if you are not a good partner??? Why???? Tell me!! Am I really untrustable huh???? Tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-E-L-L M-E!!!

I know you want to help me, but not this moment of time, I just want to be alone.

GOD DAMN THING!!!

2009-04-10T23:20:00.004+08:00

Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck!! Yes! I am very PISS right now. What the god damn thing!!!

You, who said that we need to finish all the housework then only can go to school!! Yeah, I did, EVERYDAY!! I scarifice my time, reajust my sleep time and wake up in the early morning everyday just to do the allocated houseworks before I went to college regardless how sleepy I am and how rush I am.

You, the god damn thing who always tend to wake up late in the morning and leave all the works to others to finish up!! Not only last for once or twice, but EVERYDAY!!! Not that I want to be so calculative, but this is just unfair!!! U-N-F-A-I-R!!! Know what is it??

I really hate to be here, do you know that???? There is no fair issue in here!! N-O!!!! I HATE IT!!! I hate living in lies and living in unfair!!! I JUST HATE IT!!!

You, the god damn thing!!! Are you really thought there is noone know that you took half of the money besides than her??? Now I tell you, I KNOW IT!!!! She keeps remind me not to reveal this secret to him, else he will ignore you for the rest of your life. Initially, I can take it as nothing happen, but as the time passed, I really cant make it. You just simple waste the money like that and spent in on those shits!!! And, your damn action behavior!! Do you really think that you need not to respect me as your sister huh??? Do you really think so?? She knew that you took the money, but she remain silent, why? Just because she borrow money from you, and thus afraid of he might scold her as well. But is she get to know that this actually even shape you to the extreme??? HUH?????

Its really unfair!! You not behave, but they scold me as well. What the world?? Just because I am your sister??? Bull shit!! I really pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not satisfy with all of these!!! Bastard!!

You, everyday, once reach home from college, straight away lock yourself in room and sleep and never give a hand when we need!! What the fuck!! Do you really treat yourself as princess who lives in castle??? Dont day dream!! You are not ok!! Y-OU-R-E-N-O-T!!!

Not that I am calculative, but its just unfair!! Your insufferably arrogant face!! You, just will be a failure no matter how successful you are in the future, not that I want to curse you, but because of your can't-be-helped / can't-be-changed personality!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's story

2009-04-06T11:40:00.000+08:00

Sot plug!

Was had breakfast with friends in the morning just now, thought to have a pleasant breakfast.

Once reached, my friend, Miss C told me about the unfair and rudeness treatment from an illegal worker at the food court there. She was seriously pissed by worker's behavior. She had decided to revenge by poured the unfinished food on table and asked this stupid female worker to clean it up.

The story was as below:

After class, we decided to have our breakfast at the food court at HP tour at Damansara Height. Miss C and Miss D were there before Baby [J] and I.

When Miss C and Miss D reached the food court, the female worker asked them if they want to order beverage. They drejected politely. She was not happy, (I assume this according to her respone later on). When a male worker (I think is illegal worker too, I think he is from Nepal) wanted to clean the table for Miss C and Miss D, she immediately stop him from doing so. What a world! So, this means that the remain glasses were still on the table lor. Miss C damn pissed. #$&%$#@.

When Baby [J] and I reached, Miss C complaint to us about this unpleasant experience. Miss D was away to order food at that moment. Then, Miss C and I put away the remaining glasses on floor so that we have enough seats. As soon as Miss D settle down, and four of us having our breakfast, Miss C and Miss D complained this rudeness again and again. (Hahaha, they really pissed). Thus, from the way they complaining, both Baby [J] and I understood how unsatisfied they are. We chit-chat after that.

Moment later, the female worker approached to our direction, she was so damn pissed and collect the glasses that we placed on the floor. As soon as she collected the glasses, she scolded us. What she actually scolded, I'm not sure, as what she said was not in proper BM, the only word I understand from her sentences was "celaka"!

Miss C even pissed this time. Know what? The female worker not satisfied that we placed the glasses on floor and trouble her to clean up but no business to her stall (I guess), she then talk out loud the word "kambing" and pointed her finger to us. Not only that, she also told the same word to the workers near around her stall and pointed towards us. Thus, during that time, we kept on heared of the word "kambing".

I am still remain calm at this moment until the time when I got to know the female worker scold us with rude word.

We were doubt of the meaning of "kambing". We were doubt if there is any hidden meaning of this word. After asked for the meaning from the Malay aunty who running her business there, then only we knew that "kambing" is actually a bad word. Ngor deng! Yes, I am damn pissed this time. I have been living for 23 years thus far, I never experienced this, I mean nobody ever scold me with bad words!

Miss D and Baby [J] had video cam the stupid female worker. We had disscussed how to punish her. But due to we can't speak fluently in BM, the final conclusion that we came out was, to ask our another group member of our Advertising class Mr.Y to revenge for us tomorrow.

I am waiting for tomorrow.

April Fool

2009-04-01T22:23:00.003+08:00

Today is my friend's birthday, but it is also a pity day for her (I think) as her pc and laptop got hacked by somebody and need to pay about 400 for repair. I could understand how miserable she is, as I faced the same in the past. Just hope that she able to get her laptop asap and re-do her assignment again which due date around the corner.

April Fool.
Well, I HATE April Fool this year!

Honestly, I never notice today is April Fool until I am fooled by him. He told me he was suffered by his headache and nose bleeding. As a girl friend, as I not able to by his side at this moment, the only way to help him is to let him rest first. I hope he will be better after some rest, and thus I decided to call him after his few hours of resting time. I still worrying.

He sound tired when answered my phone call. I think, he must be very suffer of that. I heartache about it. As soon as I asked why he insisted doesn't want to let his mom know about his condition since he sound so worse, he asked me: "Don't you know today is April Fool?"

Alright! FINE! I got nothing to respond. I remain silent. Yes! I am pissed!

Don't say that I can't take any joke. I don't think its my fault, neither you, ok? I am not pointing the arrow to you. I know you are trying to joke with me, but try to put yourself in my shoe, what if I told you the same thing? What if I tell you that my lower abdomen pain like hell and fall down from stair and leg broken? What if.... I bet you will worry me right?

Even though today is April Fool, but as a couple, you know I will worry you if your health are not in a good condition. Since you know that (I assume you know that), why still choose to use issue to joke with me? Can't you choose to use other trick?

You may claimed that I am serious this time, but I have my reason! I think no single couple could able to take this kind of joke during April Fool or whatever day!

As it is happened, let it be. Please do not use 'health' as a bait to fool me next time, please.

ITS NOT A HAPPY APRIL FOOL.

Man. This called M-A-N

2009-03-30T13:01:00.002+08:00

Conversation between a reporter and a successful business man: (it was paraphrased)

R= Reporter
B= Business man

R= Sir, could you please share with our audience of what makes you become so successful in your business?

B= Oh well, it's all because of my wife. She is the one who should receive this pride instead.

R= Although you are a millionaire now, why you still choose to work everything by yourself instead of allocated them to your employee? What makes you work so hard actually?

B= Hahaha, once again, my wife. As a man, I need to be a reliable man to my wife, so I need to constantly work harder so that I have enough money for her to spend. I would never want her to live in poor with me.

HOooooo, how sweet the man. This called M-A-N!!!.

奇怪

2009-03-18T04:20:00.002+08:00

怎么可能会吵架吵到笑呢？
怎么可能？
真的是我人生里的第一次！

话说今天约了我的他谈判，好好妥协一番，怎么知道，我们竟边吵边笑！
虽然如此，但我们还是达到协议。

不明白的是，
为什么我们会边吵边笑！？
奇怪！

无感觉

2009-03-11T21:45:00.003+08:00

我发现，原来，我迷失了方向。

每一条走着的路，都似乎是为了走而走。

每一个决定，都似乎是为了作而作。

每一天，都似乎是为了过而过。

每一个笑容，都似乎是为了笑而笑。

我脑袋，空得很。

突然，我觉得我丧失了生存的意义。

突然，我觉得我存在的价值已不知所踪。

我。。。

再见。。

无奈

2009-03-09T22:31:00.001+08:00

这几个月以来，我都得很早起床，把家打扫干净方可上学去。如果我的上课时间全都是下午的话，那该多好呢。但，很无奈的是，几乎每天的可都是早上的。所以，换句话说，我得在七早八早的6点钟起床，把家打扫干净，然后冲凉整理一番，方可上学去。要不然，回家可会被教训一番。我可不要！

如果我的家是在学校附近的话，那我可以不用那么早起床做家务。可是，我家就偏偏不在附近。 [如果啊如果~如果如果真的会发生的一天，那该多好呢？好一个白痴梦！]一大早还得耐着性子在马龙里等待，一向坏脾气，没耐性的我，真得非常无敌超级讨厌塞车！就唯有早点出发，赌赌运气。再加上，学校附近的泊车位子有限，泊车费更是像抢的一样，试问，我哪可能不早点到学校去好好找个位子呢？

因为每天需要早起床做家务，所以就调整睡觉时间。我很坚持每天一定要有八个小时的睡眠，不然我会有起床气。所以就从每晚的十二点调至晚上十时睡觉。其实，说的也蛮奇怪的，我并不是强迫性的调理睡觉时间，而是自己的生理系统自个儿做调整。就在上个月的某一天晚上十时，眼球里觉得很不舒服，眼皮很重，唯有闭目养神。还以为只是那一晚而已，怎知道，随后的每个夜里，每到十时，眼睛就会很不舒服，接下的当然是睡觉去咯。也因为这样，我已经习惯的在十时会周公子去了。

而我也把这样的情形告诉我的他。我以为，他会明白。我以为，他会醒目的把拨电话给我的时间个弄早些而不是往日的十一点，怎知道，还是老样子。每晚眼睛就会告诉我需要入眠的时间，而他还是没有任何的改变。其实，我没关系他是否会在夜里给个电话我，毕竟我不是爱用电话聊天的人，所以就随后给他发个简讯，告诉他我要睡了。

我是一个很猪的人，一躺在床上，就会马上入眠。非常的讨厌在这时候被骚扰，哪怕对方是天王老子。但，他偏偏就爱在我给他发短讯后给我拨电话来，而更扯的是他总是问回同样的问题：“为什么今天那么早睡？”。坦白说，我还真得很纳闷，很生气。认识我的人都知道我很讨厌把同样的事情不断的重复说着，我受不了。但，我的他就偏偏是这么样的一个人。我的天啊！但，我还是得耐着那很不爽的脾气告诉他我要睡了。其实，我的声音已经出卖我的不爽，耳朵再不灵敏的人也会听出我的不满。但，他似乎不看在眼里！而最令我更加的不满的是，他仿佛想利用问题把我弄清醒继续与他聊天！！！现在，更加的索性把电话放得远远的，“耳不听为静”，或是“无声胜有声”

我有如一座活火山，随时都会有着爆发的可能性。我在想，我能忍多久。

宝贝，妈妈爱你

2009-03-04T09:56:00.004+08:00

现在我相信，
狗狗是人类的Best friend

Baby, 你是mommy永远的宝贝
你昨天的眼神，
真的好让mommy感到窝心。
当我哭泣的时候，
你乖乖的躺在我怀里，
不反抗。

Baby, 虽然你很调皮，
但，当mommy需要静静的时候，
当mommy伤心的时候，
你总是静静的呆在我身边。

Baby, mommy爱你。
谢谢你

Tonight

2009-03-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

I think,
You have misunderstood me.
It breaks me, It hurts.
I cried silently, but still discovered by you.

I guess,

Your heart break too, in the silent moment.

Perhaps,

You are thinking and wondering why I said so to you.

May be, you do not like to see me cry.
May be, you do not want to tune-up your volumne.
May be, you are controlling yourself.
May be..

Baby,
Please do understand that is not a comment,
but merely my feelings.

My dear, I didn't mean that,
I had explained to you.
I do respect them, so do your culture.
What I need the most is time.
Sufficient time for me to learn to adapt myself in a totally new environment.
Never worry too much on the interaction between them and I.

Sob

2009-03-03T08:52:00.000+08:00

It supposed to be a beautiful night for us,
but why it had become so?
I think,
I just shouldn't take the initiative to reveal my feeling to you next time.

Cry silently, really silent,
is actually very torturing and suffer.
Just as torture and suffer as lack of breath to survive.

Released

2009-03-02T23:14:00.003+08:00

Today we have our 'appetizer' in car, although it was just few pieces of Sushi, but I satisfied. I really do.

What made me feel released and happy was I have told him what I fear of and what bothered me lately. I really hope that daddy could put yourself in my shoe and feel the fear deep inside. I admit that I am not ready yet, because it happened just too soon.

Daddy, do remember what you had promise mommy this evening ya. If you able to own the asset I mentioned this evening, then my fear would be reduced slightly, and I would not be such stress and those dreams would not occured again and again.

I know daddy loves mommy, daddy will do it for mommy right? This is your promise. As long as daddy own the asset before the next action, mommy will consider on the answer.
Mommy will learns on cooking too. Soon in later, I will make you a yummy delicious dinner. This I promise you.

能不能？

2009-03-01T23:36:00.002+08:00

回想他曾问我的问题，
这一切，
是否都发生的太早了呢？

我知道他一直都想拥有自己的家庭，
我又何尝不是呢？
但，
这问题问的未免也太早了点吧？

他三番四次的探听，
婉转的问我是否会嫁给他，
说真的，开心的部分不胜烦恼的部分，
除了吓到还是吓倒。

不是我不想嫁，
只是时间上会不会太早了呢？
不是我不爱你，
只是问题在于我想再飘流几年。

心里不停得害怕着，
他说的4月过后会是何时。
心里不停地犹豫着，
他会不会是想用“婚姻”将我套牢。

我想
我是真的害怕结婚。
我没信心。

Frankly,
我也只不过23岁，
正值少女与女人的交换界。
我真的不想那么快结婚，哪怕只是订婚。
我想好好的享受我那迟来的自由。

别说我不爱你，
这是两码事，
并不能并以共论。

我爱他。
他是我的避风港，我的依靠，丈夫的适合人选；
但，宝贝，
能不能别再提起结婚的事？
我真的害怕。

Can I make it?

2009-02-27T16:26:00.000+08:00

Friends are getting married one by one, "when would be my turn?" they asked. I remain silent and smile.

Noone would understand the horrible fear in within myself, it just haunted me continuosly. I am living in fear whenever touch on this topic. Yes, I am being avoidant whenever this topic raised up. I never dare to think it thoroughly. I A-F-R-A-I-D!!!

Yes, I am afraid. I even dreamt of how worse my life would like when I have my own family.
-Lost my child in supermarket.
-Put on fight with him and divorce.
-His mom guards me when I am doing house keeping.
-Over-dependent until lost myself.
-Prepare food for him and house burn at last.
-Frustrated and torture my child.
What a disaster, these really make me afraid to become wife of him.

I afraid that I could not be a good wife to him.
I afraid that I could not manage a good relationship with his family.
I afraid that I could not be an understanding life-partner to him.
I afraid that I could not satisfy him.
I afraid....
The most important thing is that I afraid the sweetness, the tolerance, the understanding, the loving, the patience in the current not-yet-married-relationship would change. I afraid! I really do.

I never dare to imagine how my life would be if I become his wife. I never dare to answer his question when he asks me the relevant questions.

相见容易，相处难。彼此现在的相处是否会在日后结婚后变卦，没人可以给于我一个担保。我真的害怕。

F.U.C.K

2009-01-09T14:55:00.003+08:00

You!! The stupid damn bxxch!!!!

She just would not able to read this, it is merely a channel for me to release my unsatisfaction on her!

You the stupid moron!
FUCK!!!!!!!!
YOU!!! GOD DAMN THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BABY

2009-01-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

My christmas present from my significant one. Hubby knew I scare of doggy actually, thus, in order for me to overcome this fear, he decided to buy me a puppy.

Now I introduce this naughty fella (Tze Shu) to you guy.

Name: Baby
Age: 2 months old
Gender: Male

This pic took when hubby and I had our dinner at Station one.

Baby was slept when we are on the way to my home. cute*

It's bedtime!. Time to sleep, and put blanket for him. For fun*

He doesn't like to play witht his ball. He is getting fatter actually.

Disclosure

2009-01-01T12:37:00.000+08:00

It's time to give this recognition to this man, whom I love in this world besides my family members and friends -- Uncle Alvin. He is someone whom I really can be myself when spend the time with him. Comfortable is the only word that I can used to describe this relationship, despite the love.

I have been with him for 7 months, but I never disclose this relationship to neither my friends or parents until last months. I know it is unfair to him, but I have a significant reason to ought to cover this relationship.

Throughout these 7 months, I try my best to cover this relationship from my parents. They were suspecting though, but I just pretend as nothing happened. However, this secret was disclosed during new year eve BY MY SISTER, when we were in 6th aunt's car. Mommy was there too. Blush* 6th aunt asked a lot of question for mommy to check Alvin's background.

The first day of new year, daddy question me about this relationship. I thought he will angry intially, but he is kinda agree after some chat with him. So, there is no more worriness on my side, but Alvin, as he needs to present his best to my parents to verify his status. hahahah*

-This pic was taken when Alvin celebrate birthday with me-

Working

2008-12-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

The day before I went to work at puchong.

I was worked as Celcom Promoter at Giant Puchong Puteri from 20th to 28th December.

-Pic taken when I am waiting for hubby to pick me up in the early morning. He is overslept that day. gek sei! -

Spot the differences

2008-11-17T11:40:00.004+08:00

Two different people, but with the same position.

One is sleepy, another one was set-up.

Gotcha!

Blue

2008-11-06T15:22:00.006+08:00

Alone in the corner at Starbucks, Leisure Mall...
Ordered a cup of Jawa Chips, the only drink I like here..

Sitting under the air-conditioner, I am freezing~

Never think of move to another warmer place because I like the coldness, it is so much similar to my coldness..

Reading articles and researching useful files...

Thinking of how to continue on my thesis that make me feel dreadful...

Observing the passengers on the streets through the glasses beside me...
Counting the amount of passed-by vehicles...
Staring at the blue sky and started to day-dream...

Raining...
Blueness emotions getting stronger...
Don't feel like want to talk nor share verbally...
I think I almost be freeze by the air-cond here, but I am insist to refuse to move...
Because this location is the most private and most strategic..

I am missing someone now...
I wish this someone could be by my side...
Well, dreaming...
Blue-ing...

Sunny day after the rain..
But my feelings remain blue...
It would be so much better if I got freeze and my brain stop functioning...

Feeling blue~

Happy Birthday to ME!

2008-10-30T01:17:00.001+08:00

-3rd round-

And today, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY (29/10)!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

First of all, have to thank to my lovely friends who sent messages and called me to greet my big day of life today. Thanks you guys, so sweet! Muacks! And those who leave messages in my mail, my friendster, and here, thanks to you guys too! It's a wonderful thing when got the greets from you guys.

At noon, Mr. B (inconvenient to reveal his identity here) came over to college and had birthday lunch with me at secret recipe. Thanks Mr.B. And thanks to the present and the letter too. =) Well, I hope youe life wil get smoother day after day. Blessing you =)

Present - necklace from HOJB by Mr. B

At night, went out with Alvin. We have the dinner at an Italian + France food restaurant (very paiseh, I have forgotten the restaurant's name). The environment in the restaurant is very romantic! It would be a best place to propose!! Hehehe! Not bad! Regards to the food, not bad actually, especially the birthday dessert, super delicious!!! Yummy =p The taste of the dessert is indeed unforgetable. I will upload the photos later on after I get it from Alvin, may be tomorrow.

What made me feel happy not merely have my birthday dinner with Alvin, but what he had prepared for me.

Once reach the restaurant, we are seated and served. We chat and enjoy our red wine while waiting for another dishes be served. After we have finished all of the main dishes, suddenly the waiter passed a bouquet of lily to Alvin and eventually Alvin gave it to me and greet me Happy Birthday again. Once I accept the lily, customers at another table clap their hand, and so to the waiters. Ar..... I felt very paiseh at that moment, and immediately, I blush, just a milisecond, my face turn into red color as if a tomato. Gosh! But I am happy, coz its really unexpected. Then, there was another thing passed to Alvin, and this time was a box and a little snoopy on the top. Similar to the first time, Alvin passed it to me. Okay, again, I blushed. After checked on it, I found there was a 250GB external hard disc inside th box. Alright, I thought it was the end, but the surprise never ended. Few minutes later, one of the waiter served me the birthday dessert which got ice cream and hot chocolate cream and cake, and sang the Happy Birthday song to me while serving me. And at this time, Alvin sang along too. So sweet and very SURPRISE. I got shocked and kept on laughing and smiling. After we finished all the dessert and he paid the bill, we ciao.

Alvin drank quite a lot of wine just now, so he asked me to take a bottle of water at the bonnet while he wanted to rest awhile at seat. Right after I opened the bonnet, another surprise!! There was a box in the middle of the bonnet, and anoter two little thing beside it. I got shocked and stunned for a minute. I felt happy actually. I thought there will no any surprise anymore from him after the restaurant, but it wasn't in fact. It's really unexpected and really surrise. A bit touch =) There is a big snoopy in a box, and a limited edition of Disney MP3 player was tide on its neck. Once I got thte MP3 player, I almost going crazy as I hardly find it in KL, but he able to make it just in a day of time. Thanks Alvin =) Muacks!!!

First present from Alvin: A bouquet of Lily

Second present from Alvin: A little cute snoopy >.<

Third present from Alvin: 250GB external hard disc

Fourth present from Alvin: A big snoopy

Fifth present from Alvin: Disney MP3 player

I feel happy tonight. It's really hard to touch me, but Alvin somehow did it tonight. =) And, I have an unforgettable birthday memory. Muacks! Thanks again.

Celebration

2008-10-29T10:22:00.000+08:00

2nd round!

Thanks for Stephen Yee for celebrate my birthday, and count-down with me.

Thanks a lot ya. Muacks!

Singing Man!!

2008-10-27T18:01:00.005+08:00

Can you heard what Alan talked in the clip? He said:"coulld you please don't video-taped? take photo enough la. ji-dan-gao (the egg-cake; in chinese 鸡蛋糕)"

Kent is singing 李玖哲“我会好好过”. See how much he enjoying being video-taped. hahahah! Gotcha!

Early Birthday Celebration

2008-10-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

Today my primary-schoolmates and friends were celebrate my birthday with me, hoooo, so sweet! >.<>

First picture: From left: Poh Choo, Mandy, Me, Kent, Alan, Victor

Second picture: Me and Alan, the organizer of my early-birthday celebration.

Here are some of the pictures that we took yesterday.

Have Fun!!!

Once again, THANK YOU GUYS!!
Muacks!

Consequence of over-dependent

2008-10-25T13:17:00.005+08:00

Disaster! I never imagine this kind of situation would happen on me. Damn!

The pen-drive was used at this minute to save my assignment so that I could print it later at IT department and submit it. But, all the files inside the pen-drive gone just like that when I want to use it again just few minutes later.
"What the hell is going?" "Must be kidding!" "It's not right, I must be hallucinating" I couldn't believe what was happened, it's really hard for me to accept the fact of losing all the data in my pen-drive.
I got no idea, I am lost. Then, send message to friends immediately to seek for helps and call them. But there is no solution from them.
No-way to retrieve the data that had lost, and due to time constraint, have to proceed to the office. Thought to explain this accident to lecture, but she was not in but the graduate tutor. Luckily tutor allowed me to re-submit my assignment. Thanks God.

Nothing in my mind, but the "WHY" questions keep on flashing in my mind, and the tears droped eventually.
ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am heartache and worries on my forever-lost documents (I didn't save a copy in my laptop), some of them were very important to me, as in those past researches and my experiment materials too! And, my half-done Thesis. These have no copies in my laptop! >.<''
I have to admit that I am very dependent on my pen-drive, because it is small enough and easy for me to carry it to wherever I go. I ever thought it is the most reliable electrical device for me to save everything that is important to me. But now, it is not longer the fact, I shouldn't dependent on any electrical device anymore and should have more copies on the important documents.

It's already a fact. And the only thing I can do now is catch the time and prepare my experiment materials and search on those related past-researches again.
Learned from the mistake and I FEEL THE PAIN, INDEED.

What a Bad Day. Deng ar!!!!

Money

2008-10-22T14:48:00.003+08:00

Check on my mail box just now and found this interesting mail:
Meaningful but a bit funny at last.
hahaha.

Money
钱

It can buy a HOUSE but not a HOME
可以用来买房子但是不能买一个家

It can buy a BED but not a SLEEP
可以用来床但是不能买睡眠

It can buy a CLOCK but not TIME
可以用来买时钟但是不能买时间

It can buy you a BOOK but not KNOWLEDGE
可以用来买书但是不能买到知识

It can buy you a POSITION but not RESPECT
可以用来买职位但是不能买到尊严

It can buy you a MEDICINE but not HEALTH
可以用来买药但是不能买到健康

It can buy you BLOOD but not LIFE
可以用来买血但是不能买回生命

It can buy you SEX but not LOVE
可以用来买性行为但是不能买到真爱

So, you see money isn't everything. I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend, I want to take away your pain and suffering...
所以，现在你知道钱并不是万能的。我之所以告诉你这些道理，是因为我是你真正的朋友，而身为你的朋友，我想要帮助你消除痛苦，免除你所受的折磨

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you
所以把你的钱都寄来吧！我决定替你承受这一切的痛苦

A true friend like me, you will never find
你再也不会找到任何一个比我更真心的朋友了

CASH ONLY PLEASE
我只收现金，谢谢！

-Take a break, relax la!-

Something I wish my man can do for me

2008-10-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

While I'm still working on my assignment, suddenly thought of list down what I wish my man of my life can do for me:

Be there for me whenever I need him, even when I need someone to nag on those minor problem in my daily life.
Bear with my uncertainties, my unexpected behavior and my coldness without blames.
Sit besides me silently when I am crying, without suggest me any solution even after I stop cry until I request for the solution.
Accept who am I and give me the unconditional love.
Provide me anything that I need in my life upon his abilities, of course.
Bear with my temper and pamper me no matter how terrible the situation is.
Be my superman and 'superman'.
To be continue...

I..MISS..YOU

2008-10-16T22:50:00.004+08:00

I never tell you how much you meant to me, here we go...

Missing pieces of my heart found the right fits from you,
Iceberg melted by the passion only from you,
Self-protection system deactivated since the day met with you,
Silly characteristics occur once again because of you.

You meant a lot to me,
Obvious changes that you could seen on me,
Unbreakable bounding link between you and me.

...

2008-10-13T22:26:00.004+08:00

- I FOUND YOU -

muacks

GOTCHA!!!!

I found the sweetest baby in my life

LEAVE ME ALONE

2008-10-03T16:02:00.004+08:00

The same problem occur again and again, regardless of what the trigger is.
The same explanation had been given over and over again, I feel exhausted with it.
The same question had been raised up again and again, I wonder when it would be ended.

What is going on?
Damn it.
I am so SICK of it, honestly.
Disappoitment occured.

Please, LEAVE ME ALONE

一首歌

2008-09-30T12:12:00.001+08:00

Jerry-《一半》

一直等　一个人　等了很久

这一场　独角戏　是很寂寞

春夏秋冬　我的窗口　只有风经过

爱很深　有多深　我也不懂

你走后　我的心　变的脆弱

听一首歌　也觉得痛　

但我谁也没有说

右边的座位　右边的枕头都已经空了那麼久

为你守候　那是因为　我已经看透

没有你的爱　这个我只是一半

不哭了　不笑了为谁努力我也不明白

没有人能取代　一个圆的另一半

我固执　的等待等风再把你带回来

原来我想你

2008-09-30T00:55:00.015+08:00

— 原来我想念你 —

原来你的影子在我脑里挥之不去
原来你的名字在我心里留下烙印
原来你的出现给我生活带来变化
原来
你有如此大的魅力

原来对昔日的懵懂我仍深深自责
原来对昔日的错过我仍耿耿于怀
原来对昔日的爱恋我仍偷偷怀念
原来
我不曾放下过

原来没有人能让我向对你一样的付出真心
原来没有人能让我向对你一样的把心敞开
原来没有人能让我向对你一样的许下承诺
原来
神秘紫色我是如此的眷恋

原来你占据了我整颗心
原来我中了不能被磨灭的毒
原来我不能记得忘记
原来
“后悔”是这么写的

只可惜你我已经擦肩而过了
很可惜我没有勇气问你一句
原来
错过的是我最想要的

— 原来我把心上锁了，钥匙被我弄断了—

Well-kept

2008-09-29T00:27:00.001+08:00

No matter how far I go
No matter how long the distances are
No matter how the world had changed
No matter how the sad torn me apart
No matter how....

There is something that I had well-kept all these while..

"You're always in my mind, the unique one, the irreplaceable one, and the impressed one"

Economic Crisis?

2008-09-27T01:14:00.003+08:00

Just finished the Moonlight Resonance episodes with family members at living room. Not bad, it was a happy ending.

When there was only me and daddy at the living room, suddenly, he brought up the topic regard the possibility of economic crisis that all nations in this world might face next year. He explained to me about his analysis on the current economy status. Talk on the economy at US now, and how it would affect the world economy if the debt not able to clear-off, and bla..... (I had forgotten, paiseh~)

Honestly, I really don't know about this kind of matter until daddy told me just now. But would it be true? Noone knows, may be there is someone can slightly predict or foresee the the future, especially those market analyst, but, definitely not me, because I am just not so into it, I would rather put myself in the field of psychology. Hahah..

If the economy crisis happen again, and it is a crisis that involves the whole world, how the world would be then?
Could the slogan of "World Peace" continued be used?
How would this threat affects the nations' life then?

@.@

That's Why - MLTR

2008-09-23T12:03:00.003+08:00

Title: Michael Learns To Rock - That's Why (You Go Away)

Baby want you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

* CHORUS *

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away

I know You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

* REPEAT CHORUS *

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

After my lappy reformat, all my songs were gone, thus, its been a long time I didn't listen to my favorite songs.
That day, when I attended to my cousin's wedding dinner, there are a lot of my favorite songs were played in the ball room, That's Why by MLTR is one of the song that played on that day.
I feel touched and familiar. I'm get touched by the lyrics of songs easily, but not to the things that people does.

=( I want songs...

NEW Spec

2008-09-22T20:20:00.003+08:00

-Hohoho, I changed my spec finally-

When I am with this new brought spec, there are various comments:

Huang lian gong: (stunned) "You look fierce"

Daddy: "Teacher-look"

Dear (even worse): "You look like auntie when with this spec!!"

Mommy: "Normal lo~"

Bla-ing about ME

2008-09-21T11:06:00.000+08:00

Finally, I am up here and leave some words in my long-ignored blog.
(hmmm, feel sorry to it tim.. If I apologize to my blog, would it be noticed? hahaha, gila syok!)

Ever since I disappear in the past few months, I learned and changed. Either good or bad, it is mostly depend on how you judge. But to me, I feel pleasant with these changes.

As I know, the only way to help myself to feel more comfortable and treat myself genuinely is to stand still on my points and do something without consider on others' expectation on me. And, in order to build up a healthy relationship and a stable foundation, I had realize what I need is to be somewhat selfish and to be less considerate. Sounds bad right? But, this was what I learned from the past, I need to be like this, it is a prevention for me from repeat my faults. Honestly, these kind of confrontation were indeed hard to me especially when it comes to the circumstances where I need to deal with the special one. The unpleasant tendency of trying to please and be dependent are the most challenges to me.

I had been struggled a lot to reach my desirable destiny, to me, it is a huge step. Along the journey, I fell into the depressive mode repeatedly; throughout the years, the process of self-identity-seeking never stopped.

From time to time, I dreamt of this day, and now, I am proud of myself where I am heading to my freedom destiny! Yahoo! The efforts that I invested in the past successfully shaped me a better tomorrow, applause for myself. =p And now, I know who I am, and I would never feel sad on myself and never feel shame and lost in the journey of self-seeking, because, its a path that we need to go through at least once in our life.

Day after day, I'm become more comfortable with myself especially when I need to deal with someone special to me. Am I controlling? I don think so (may be I am, but I have no intention to be like that). Am I unpredictable? May be I am, I never enjoy that way where people could predict what I going to do next. I know how to invest my feeling bit and bit into a relationship, and I know what kind of relationship I am looking for.

I enjoy being myself now! I found myself!

-end-

Back

2008-09-15T00:35:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time I didn't update any entry here.
Alright... Alright... I knew I had disappeared for a looooong time (hmmm, almost a month, wao~), and had blocked the only channel of some of you guys to update yourself regard the latest news of mine indirectly. Haha, paiseh~ >.<

Suddenly, feel like want to leave some clues here, for the sake of track, if you interested with my life lar~ (may be is you, you, you, or you, =p)

Folks, need not to curious about my missing in MSN and here. Its just merely because of lacking motivation to update my news here. The passion to blog, to online for chatting, seems like far away from me in the past few weeks. Weird, isn't it? Hmmm, does this means I am getting older? Hahaha, alright, crapping here =p =cold=*

Hey friends, no worries if you not able to reach me ya. Since past few weeks of time, I fell in love with silence, and thus, my phone was in silent and mute mode always. I just wont be noticed there is a call or message until I move my sight towards the phone that I left on piano purposely.

You know what, now only I realize, the silence I had yesterday was a gift from God in which He wants me to drown and to explore more about myself before heading to the next stages of my life. The silence wasn't those kind of horrible silent that lack of accompanies from others, but it was as if a force which brought me to the peace and refreshment. Feel recharged! And now, I am ready for everything and I know what I need in the near future!

Lastly, folks, no worries on me, I am ok here, perfectly fine. Missing only, still alive. hahahah~

记忆

2008-08-21T14:18:00.006+08:00

"We are one"

"I want to grow old with you"

"Close"

"我可以"

这几首歌让我会想起给他做得powerpoint slides

记忆再次侵袭

首次让我有想婚的冲动的他

最近不断地出现在脑海里
曾经的一切一切
一幕一幕的在脑里重演
纳闷倔强不解
搞什么鬼啦！！！

完整的一面镜子

被逼得亲手将它给砸碎

不舍破镜重圆

依然敌不过事实

重圆后仍得再次砸碎

彼此的心情严重被影响
无奈问青天

“问什么要让我们相遇相爱但不能相守”

分手再分手的期间
确实闹得有些不愉快

爱着但逼地不得不放手

这种打击经历过的人会懂

彼此的深爱却惨遭家人的反对与不祝福

不解为什么芝麻般的小事会变成彼此的阻碍

怨恨过伤感过迷茫过

生不如死过

曾经我真的以为
他不会在我心中留下点点的记忆

心中决不会给他留点位子

曾经我真的以为

我会很怨恨他不想再见到他

然而

事实并非如此

他其实早已在我心中扎了根

只是我视而不见

自我反省的日子里

往日与他的记忆

有如课本被一页一页的翻开
每页里的思绪又再一次的在心中澎湃一遍

我明白
毕竟他曾是我真的豁出去深爱过的人
无论经过多少时间的磨砺
昔日的一切点滴
就像酒的沉淀物
一直藏在心田里
越久越浓郁越久越香醇
干涩苦甜香浓
尽管嘴里尝的都是五味杂全
但经由心底酝酿后
出来的感觉总会是甜丝丝的

此刻的我
脑海里出现的是
那年他为我庆祝生日的一切
匆匆忙忙的吃晚餐
饭后到皇后公园谈心
亲手做的提拉米苏
恶作剧的蜡烛
他唱的生日歌
我最爱的蓝玫瑰
大男人的他肯为了我准备这一切
这回忆
无论经过多少岁月
都不会被磨灭

曾经是有机会再续前缘

可是我拒绝

我知道破镜一旦再重圆

期望一定比以前高

若别人口中以及他在意的事成事实的话

埋怨责备抛弃会是活该

再说那时的我很抱歉我不想回首

可以说我残忍也可以说我自私
无论心中有多挣扎

我真地不想再次地走回头

我宁愿把机会让给别人

如今

我想起他我忆起他我念着他
无奈无论心中的记忆有多折腾

也决不告诉他

只愿他的愿望能事成

以他的能力他的实力他的冲劲
他定能成为一位成功的生意人

老顽童 vs. 小顽童

2008-08-20T10:59:00.000+08:00

前几天我家的小妹被我家的老顽童惩罚。。。

为什么呢？

不就是因为小妹（小顽童）玩得太疯狂了（例如驳嘴），老爸就来一招以牙还牙且让你难堪的方式来惩罚。其实并不是什么招数，但就惹得全家爆肚大笑。那为什么说要让她难堪呢？就是因为妹妹有明星梦，所以老爸说非录下来不可，爱开玩笑但又不懂得尊重，就给她来个惩罚。

听清楚她说什么了吗？她说的是：“对不起，我是神经病”

A word

2008-08-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

To you who are reading this entry:
致读着的你：

If you are allowed to use a word to describe me, what word would you use?
如果你只允许用一词句形容我，那会是什么字呢？

You may reply it in the comment.
你可以再comment里回答。

There is no right and wrong answer, I am just wanna to know what you think on me or who am I in your eye =)
放心，这没有对或错的答案，我只想知道在你心目中的我是个怎样的人。=)

T-H-I-N-K

2008-08-14T16:47:00.002+08:00

As I mentioned in the previous blog (unfortunately it was in Chinese version)
I don't feel like talk recently
Don't wanna to meet anyone

I prefer to be silent in these few weeks
I want to remain silent
I want to be alone
I don't want any social interaction

These few weeks are my self-evaluation period
Its the time to think and T-H-I-N-K

Again

2008-08-14T13:04:00.001+08:00

Drank wine in the early morning without consume any food again

Enjoy the taste of wine

Love the smell of wine

Silent again

Self-protection activated

逃避。过去

2008-08-13T15:42:00.004+08:00

这几天其实
不是那么地想开口说话
无奈没人懂
更无奈的是我根本不想说

这几天其实
不想见任何人
与世界隔绝
再次宁听心中的呐喊

感觉想逃避
逃什么不知道
避什么我不懂
只想
静静的一个人
拥抱自己的寂静

对自己严苛不完美中的要求完美
对他人冷漠静观其变化
爱恨的分明考验中的领悟
欣然的接受人与人之间的不同
相信无声胜有声接受胜过一切
无奈换来的是误解

心中的无奈
心中的煎熬
心中的焦虑
心中的自己
无人知晓
只怪
自己隔绝一切

过去的曾经沉淀在心中
过去的不堪隐藏在心底
过去的过去失去的失去

迷惘再现
忧郁再袭

心被掏空
灵被放纵
漂浮天蝎再现

蓝
。
蓝
。
蓝

Stupid-ing

2008-08-13T12:04:00.005+08:00

0530 - 0730
Sleeping

0730 - 0745
Wake up, lazying on bed

0745 - 0820
House keeping, completing housework

0825 - 0845
Clean up myself, clothes changing

0845 - 0940
Watching TV, resting

0940 - 1000
Depart to college, driving

1000 - 1005
Arrive at college, looking for parking

1010 - 1110
Counseling session, talking

1113 - 1115
Back home, thinking what should I do, processing

1115 - 1135
Try to familiar the way to Taming Jaya, succeed

1135 - 1200
Reach home, resting

1200 - 1205
Typing this entry, stupid-ing

BLUE

2008-08-12T23:03:00.002+08:00

今天的心情很 BLUE

。

。

。

不想说话

。

。

。
Feeling B L U E

。

。

。

silent-ing

无聊

2008-08-12T15:12:00.004+08:00

突然觉得很无聊，根本提不起劲儿做任何事情。手里握着遥控器，无聊的转换着电台，换了一次又一次，播放着都是无聊的节目，真的有够无聊到我快疯了。心想有够无聊，算了吧，真的够了，随后就无聊的拿起身边的杂志，无聊的读起里头的资料，妈啊，真的很无聊，而且我竟然可以无聊到把杂志里对我而言是无聊的资料给读完。无聊到透顶，走出去透透气，刚巧邻居在溜狗，我这无聊的人就无聊的看着两只小狗在嬉戏。看看看，它们在玩，我在看，无聊的根本不知道要怎样。没事做自然觉得无聊，随之就无聊的在键盘上乱按一通，看看显示出来的资料，怎知道竟然是无聊的冷笑话。炎日的下午却被这无聊的冷笑话冷了冷，无聊到问自己，怎么那么地无聊？算了，就写写东西吧，手指在键盘上无聊的按着按着，竟然按出这篇无聊的文章，我为我这无聊的举动竟然抱肚大笑。原来，当我无聊起来的时候还真的可以这么得无聊。你呢？看完过后，是不是也觉得自己很无聊竟然荒唐到花了一段时间读这篇无聊的entry。哈哈哈，对不起，我还真得很无聊，就陪陪我无聊下下嘛。

Morning

2008-08-12T09:22:00.002+08:00

Early morning,830am
Once wake up, feeling good
Time to work, feel lazy
Jobs of a part-time housewife of the day completed, feel released
On my beloved lappy, feel excited
Click on blogger dashboard, feel so slow, internet connection!
Ready to write something, feel energetic!
Too bad, mind is full of 'Nothing' and empty, feel so bad
Want to drink some water, thirsty, feel needed
Empty stomach, no feeling
Drinking wine while typing here, relaxing, feel enjoying
Drink wine with empty stomach, feel like killing myself

Amnesia

2008-08-11T08:11:00.002+08:00

Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia

I dead in the past, but alive every morning once I wake up.

Every tomorrow is another chapter of my life, what had happened in the previous chapters were my experiences that shape the me today.

Things happened in yesterday was passed, store the memories and will never mention about it.

Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia Amnesia

你看见的改变

2008-08-10T22:59:00.006+08:00

改变？
对！！
我真的变了。。
变得我觉得有些恐怖，甚至让我迷恋，沉迷于使坏。。

回想起当初的我，真的以为爱就是所有。说真的，还蛮可笑。

曾经的我为了爱，放弃自我。可以为了身边的他，撇开自己的意愿，什么都以他为先，然后才管自己。不管自己有多不开心，只要能让他开心，什么都依。就像是一个活生生的傀儡。当时，根本就不懂得怎样写“我”，知道的就只有“他。。。他。。。他。。。”。就算是知道不应该，但还是无可自拔的陷入。在他们眼中，他们不把我做得当作一回事。我没怨言。

曾经为了他们，不管父母亲的反对，毅然决定要跟他们在一起，倔强的要证明给他们看我选的他们是适合我的，就心想一定要他们掉眼镜。也许因为这样，有些委曲求全，也许。另外，当然也有因为爱，互相退让。说我没付出，没替他们想，我不吭声，哑子吃黄连，有苦自己知。

曾经为了要见到他们，一放了学，就跑去见他们。一有时间，就让给他们。就算家教再怎么严，都会尽我可能，向父母妥协，就算撒谎，也只为了要与他们有多一点的相聚时间。但得到的就只有怨言 “跟你拍拖好像跟你家人拍拖” “又那么早回，不能迟一点哦？”

曾经，他们要我乖，我就乖。要我温柔，我就温柔。不要我想太多，我想但不出声。只要他们的一句，我能做的，我就会做。但，在他们眼中，我总是一个不听话的孩子，很闷的一个人。

曾经的我，一旦进入爱情门槛，就会迷失自我，我的世界里，就只有他，没有其他人，盲目的一头载入，甭管自己的意愿。虽然说为我的他做的一切是心甘情愿的，但，当时的我，做的一切，就只依着他的意愿走，自己的就不管。就像一个躯壳，但没有自己的灵魂而是他的灵魂。

回望，当时的我，虽然真的爱了，但，失去自己。虽然有付出，但得到的却是责备和不谅解。我并不是埋怨，毕竟他们曾是我爱过的人，若不是因为他们，我不会成长。该说谢谢。
其实，说真的，如果没有当初的懵懂天真，不会有现在的我。如果没有当初的那份冲动，不会有现在的实在。

现在的我，不再像之前那么的渴望爱情。决不能！现在，爱情并不是我的所有。如果没能遇见一位真正能接受我的思想的人，接受我全部的人，我不爱。

我的确遇见不少好男人，也遇见一位能真正接受我的全部的人，一位不试图改变我的人，但，很可惜，我的热情不再，心也如此。

现在的我，变得比之前更冷，更疯狂，更加的保护自己，同时也变得很自私，什么都以自己为主，你喜欢就喜欢，不喜欢也不干我事。变得如此，我也没察觉，直到最近有件事情发生，方恍然大悟。原来，我变了。。。

我发现，原来现在的我，很享受单身的感觉，因为我可以自由自在的做我喜欢的事，说我要说的话，我行我素，一个真正的自己，不让人左右我的想法，更不让那些试图改变我的人得逞。你若觉得我难搞，那就别搞，别浪费时间。你若不是真的爱我，那就请你滚远点。

曾经的懵懂，不会再被重复，决不容许！经过之前的他们，我更加得懂得我要的男人到底是一个怎样的人，我向往那种相处方式，我更加得懂得分清楚烂男人和好男人，等等。我不再主动地告诉他‘我想念你‘，我不再将热情释放，不再隐瞒自己的意愿，很坦然地说出自己的喜欢与不喜欢。不容许自己再次的变成傀儡。曾经的我因为爱迷失自己，但，现在的我，决不能再次的迷失自己，就算再爱，也不能。迷失自己是一件很可怕的事，一个没有自己灵魂的躯壳，怎么能称得上是自己呢？

我身边的朋友也察觉，尤其是我的好朋友，Franky lai，他是一位真正看着我改变的人。他对我的改变，感到欣慰，也感到痛心，因为他觉得，我失去当初的懵懂和可爱。Baby Jocey 则是一位知道我想法的人，了解我为人的好姐妹。一位似乎我不用怎么说，她就明白我想什么的人。一如往常说的，如果我的男的，一定娶她了。

我真的变了。我发现了。
爱情对我而言，由最初的超级重要变得一切顺其自然。
有就有，没有就没有。一个人，并不会死掉。
这次，真的，顺其自然吧。

To J

2008-08-09T16:08:00.004+08:00

As both of us knew, we cant contact with each other as what others used to do, hahaha, why sounds so pity? Actually, it is because there are some barriers between us that prevent us to keep in touch as usual. But, I am glad that you will still leave me some messages (I don't want to mention where you leave the messages, just in case she checks it once again. I don't wanna to put myself into trouble anymore), a sign of your concern to me. Thanks. You are always my best friend, friend for life!

Well, what past had passed, so, its really no point to dig them out anymore. Hehe, right? Remember what I had told you in MSN? I meant that. So, need not to feel sorry, neither guilt nor apology. Cheer up brother, anything happen, you may still share with me if you want to, through some appropriate ways. Wish you are blessed in whatever you do. Sincere wish from me.

Thankful for having you as friend, a friend of mine for more than 10 years. But friend, ought to remember the good and let go of the sadness, live life to the fullest cherish, ok? I know you can reach this. Learned from the past is the essence, do not ever repeat the same mistake for twice =)

All the best in your life ya. I cherish you.

shut-up

2008-08-09T15:48:00.003+08:00

Keep your mouth shut if you know nothing about me!
Childish thoughts, rubbish information, get off!
I repeat: Do not apply your thoughts on me.

如果你不清楚我的事，那就请你闭上你的嘴！
幼稚的思想，垃圾资料，滚远一点！
重申一遍：你是你，我是我，不要把你的看法或思想灌在我的身上！

曾经。现在

2008-08-09T09:27:00.003+08:00

曾经我为了他放弃了你欺骗过你
曾经我为了他陷入眷恋陷入迷茫

我不适合谈恋爱不适合拥有
我不适合爱
我不适合我不适合我不适合

我依然怀恋过去
我依然想念你
但
现在不能回首
你不是我的

祝福你

Tests

2008-08-06T20:23:00.002+08:00

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together

The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.

You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.

And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships With Men?

You Are a Coy Flirt!

You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts in

While you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game on

A little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they crave

And in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile

What Kind of Flirty Girl Are You?

You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One!

You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single.

You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone.

However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating.

Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around.

Do You Need a Man?

You Are 74% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High

You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room.

You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

You Are Very Sexy

Damn! You are one hot number. You have a lot of sex appeal.

You know you're sexy, and you're not afraid to put it all out there.

And while you're very appealing, you're careful not to be trashy or over the top.

Sexy is all about attitude. And you totally have the attitude that people love.

How You Are Sexy

You are flirtatious and fun with most people. You know how to keep things light, friendly, and sexy.

You feel gorgeous, and you always try to look your best. You make the best of what you've got. Totally sexy!

You wear sexy underwear, and that's definitely hot. Feeling sexy is important to being sexy, even if no one knows what's underneath your clothes.

You keep your body fit and healthy, and that's hot. Plus, sweating is also sexy!

Are You Sexy?

Your Heart is Feeling Safe

Right now, all is good with your heart. And you intend on keeping it that way.

Whether you're deeply in love or just looking, you know that your heart will be taken care of.

You never risk your heart too much, but you don't hold it back either. You know who to trust your heart with.

Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: Getting a little too comfortable

Your current outlook on love: Calm and future oriented

Your love life will improve if you: Treat other people's hearts the way you expect yours to be treated

Watch out for: Taking the people you're dating for granted

What Is Your Heart Feeling?

我的 “哎呀弟弟“

2008-08-06T20:08:00.004+08:00

可爱吧？猪嘴 + “V” 手势
他可真得很调皮，很可爱，也很聪明
更加地会讨人欢心
他第一首会唱的歌不是儿歌
而是林俊杰的“杀手”！！

终于肯好好的和 ‘哎呀妈米’ 合照了
怎么总觉得他看起来好像很年长酱？
有时，真得很怀疑他是不是过动儿
他可真得很爱说话，很爱动来东去
真得像一个大小孩

Heart of Greed / 溏心风暴

2008-08-06T03:39:00.006+08:00

The time now is 340am, and my tears dropped.

I just finished all the episodes of 'Heart of Greed'. I am seriously addicted with this drama, the momentum remained, never thought of stop it once it started. Yea! It's indeed a very nice drama series, no wonder it received praises from fellow drama fans and awarded.

The story lines of this drama are very touching. It indeed very inspiring, I have learned a lot from this drama. Even though it was just a creation, but, the values and the messages that conveyed, and the reflection on the bright-and-dark side of this world, were so real-life.

The importance of the cooperation between siblings..
The strenght of the power of helping each others..
The importance of not only listen to one-side...
The importance of being considerate...
The importance of forgiveness...
The importance of trustworthy...
The importance of values that people hold...
The importance of determination...
The importance of understanding...
The importance of one's personality...
The importance of giving...
The importance of psychological well-being...
The importance of changes..
and,
The importance of love...

But what I treasure the most from this drama is the relationship between 'dak dak dei' and 'xiong zhoi sam', besides than the unmask ugliness that caused by the greediness, temptation towards money.

The ways 'dak dak dei' treat 'xiong zhoi sam' were really touching. I am cool and cold, I rarely cry when watching drama series, but this. In this drama series, the kindness and genuine heart that he revealed, really kills me. I wish I manage to wish someone in this world like him, will I?

Even though he can only be her friend, but he still chooses to stay there for her and gives her a hand whenever she needs.
Even though he knows that is another 'he' lives in her heart, but he still treats her the best he could, with a loving heart.
What he wants merely on the matter of "she can live happily and full of cherish, regardless who she chooses to be with". Whatever he did for her, he asked for no return, same to others in his life. He treats everyone fairly and nicely, and to her, he treats her with his genuine heart.

I am wonder, will this world has someone who are like he, someone who are willing to treat someone without expect any in return? Will there have someone who are posses the similar personalities as 'dak dak dei'?
______________________________________________________
现在是早上3点40分，我掉眼泪了。

刚刚追完 40集的 “溏心风暴”。一看就不想停止，一集接着一集的追着，真的是太好看了！大呼过瘾！难怪会得到那么多戏迷的赞赏以及荣获那么多项奖项。真得很不赖！赞！

故事情节很精彩，也很有启发性。虽然这部戏剧只是虚构的，但，当中的讯息，其中的情节，都相当的生活化，人性化。人性的美丽与丑恶，一一的呈现在戏中，就像一篇活生生被搬上大舞台的人生情节。

兄弟之间的合作的重要性。。
互相扶持的力量。。
“耳听三分假，眼见未为真” 的实用性，重要性。。
替人着想的重要性。。
原谅的美德。。
信任的重要性。。
坚持的守候。。
正确道德价值观的重要性。。
品行的重要性。。
付出但不祈求回报的大量。。
知错能改的诚心。。
以及爱的感染力。。

除了人性的美丽以及丑恶，人被金钱俘虏的让我有印象之外，最让我深刻的就是“得得地” 和 “常在心”之间的情感。

“得得地” 对待 “常在心” 的方式，真得很感动，也很稀有。这稀有品种，在哪儿找呢？这世上，还会又像他这样的男人存在吗？
虽然他知道和她不能在一起，但，他总是在她需要的时候拉她一把，默默的守候。
虽然他知道她的心中有着另一个他，但他还是风雨不改的对她好。
他要的其实很简单，就是要她活得开心。
他对她的好，是一种施恩末为报的态度，是一种来自真心想帮助她的心。他对每个人都一样的公正，一样的好，一样的不贪图回报，但对于她，更加的添增了一颗爱她的心，一颗想要保护她的心。

心想，这稀有品种，这世上还存在吗？这世上是否存在着那种不要求回报，无条件的付出的人吗？

－有趣的晚上－

2008-08-03T21:54:00.009+08:00

本来是不想上来写东东的，但，今晚发生了很有趣的事，不记不行。。

话说 1 。。

我家的老妈子这两天心情不是很好，一直生闷气。而我家的老爸也很识趣的，让妈妈发一发脾气。直到今天一起在外进食晚餐时。。。。老爸摇身一变，变成老顽童，哄我家的女主人。

话说 2 。。

这两天的我生病（好病不病，偏偏在我赶论文的时候病，大吉利市！）在外点餐时，好想吃冬炎，可是妈妈不准。。
好啦，为了不让妈妈更加的不爽，所以就点了生鱼粥，清清肠胃咯。。可是嘞，我家的老爸就点了我爱的冬炎。。。

当老爸点的冬炎送来的时候，他马上拿起汤匙，拿了一瓢的汤，然后呢，就把那香味吹向我的方向！
就像图片显示的一样。你看~ 他一副很自在的样子！！
很咋到！

在进餐的时候，老顽童又出招了。把正在生闷气的老妈子从不笑变成憋笑，然后再从憋笑便成大笑。还不止一次哦，每次我们大笑的时候，总是惹来不少的好奇的眼光。（哈哈哈，paiseh~　咱们太忘形了，没办法，女主人笑了，我们也变得轻松了。）

回家的时候，老顽童告诉我３姐弟老妈子的威水史~

话说 3 。。。

“你知道你们的妈咪很大方的吗？他除了冲凉没穿衣服之外，也很大方的。我送她的红钻石hor,　有一天她洗衣服的时候掉了wor，然后hor她就跑来告诉我这件事wor，然后我就问她有没有捡回来咯，你知道你们的妈咪说什么吗？够力咯，她说：水冲掉了咯！你们说啦，她够不够力？”

话毕，老妈子打了老爸的手一下。
然后老爸就问：“爽不爽jek？你还要什么？”
老妈子回答：“我要金条”
老爸很爽口的答应了：“金条而已，没问题，马上送到”
话毕，就将车子停在7-11门前，再加上一句：“弟弟，下车，帮忙扛金条，很重的”

等了几分钟过后，家中唯有的两个男人上车了。。
老顽童拿出一条金色的东东！
晕掉！

猜猜是什么东西？？
是巧克力！！！
把外面的紫色包装纸拆开后的那条金色东东。
再一次，全部笑翻天！！
真的有够厉害，这样也能被他想到，两口子的生活，赞不赞?

Exhausted

2008-07-30T12:27:00.008+08:00

I am STRESS too.. Do you know that?

I am in BAD MOOD too.. Do you know that?

I need someone to nag too.. Do you notice that?

I need help from others too.. Do you notice that?

I am exhausted!!! Really exhausted.. Feel so out of control..

I help others, but how about myself? Who going to give me a hand?

I know my role, and thus, I cant express much..

I know my role, and thus, I cant demand much..

I know my role, and thus, I wont piss if the situation REALLY doesn't challenge my boundaries..

I know my role, and thus, I have to repress my tone and remain my rationality..

I am tired...

I am exhausted...

I wanna to run away...

[DND]

2008-07-30T08:15:00.004+08:00

What is the use of the status in MSN? To me, its a message to friends on whether you are available to chat with them or not. Besides than the status, the personal message is another tool of showing to people that what you think and what kind of message you wanna to convey to them.

My MSN personal message: R@cHEL: STRICTLY NO DISTURB!!
My MSN status: busy

It's clear enough that I'm not available for chat right? The word NO DISTURB is big enough right? And, for those who using MSN, of course you will know the symbol of 'busy', similar with the sign of 'no entry'.

Everything are so damn obvious, but why, why still drop me a message? The word that I put on my personal message arent bombastick kind of word, thus, I am pretty sure that it wouldn't cause up any misunderstanding on anyone, but why, W-H-Y?? Why still drop me a message?

Could you please, P-L-E-A-S-E, aware of the sign before looking forward to have a conversation with others?

When I put BUSY mode, I meant it.
When I say DND in my personal message, I meant it.

p/s: To those whom I chat with yesterday, I am not pointing the arrow on you, as you guys DID asked the permission.

Tonight

2008-07-30T01:00:00.005+08:00

Tonight's feeling after the conversation in MSN

老顽童再次出击

2008-07-29T22:15:00.001+08:00

我家的老顽童又出击啦

知道他在做什么吗？

就是用下唇夹着打火机，在摆出两个'V'

老顽童玩起来的时候，就很爱玩

凶起来的时候就很凶

我家的老爸

甜甜圈

2008-07-29T16:41:00.002+08:00

闭关中

妹妹买了甜甜圈回来

好兴奋

轻松轻松

享受甜甜圈的美味

Accident

2008-07-28T19:34:00.004+08:00

This morning one uncle who ride bike put on the left signal but he turned to right, and I immediately break my car. At the same time, I heard some sounds (siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*) and eventually I knew that my car tyres not allowed me to speed anymore. To ensure the safeness on road, I remind myself that I need to drive within the legal speed today (hahaha, today). Even though its luckily that no accident happen, but to me, its a sign of bad luck of today. Extra careful-ing*

I DRIVE REAL SLOW THIS TIME. ( I know most of my friends wouldn't believe this, as they know I like to speed a lot ). I drive REALLY slow, not more than 80km/j which I always claimed as "turtle-driving style".

Someone told me before, if not familiar with the place, remember to put on the signal whenever wanna to make any turning. And thus, I PURPOSELY slow down my speed when I was at Tasik Selatan and be aware of every single road board just in case I miss out any junctions.

Damn it, I met accident again!!

I checked on both side mirrors, and I am sure that there is no any motorbike besides me, but who knows when I wanna to turn to left, God! Suddenly I saw one motorbike bang towards passenger side of my car, and immediately he knocked his head on the my car's bonnet, and then fell down on floor. I WAS DAMN SHOCKED that moment. Gosh!

Off the engine, get out from the car, and immediately check on his condition. Oh God, please, nothing serious please!!

Arg~ He was bleed that time, there are some other minor injured on his cheek, shoulder and both hand palms.

HELP!!! I so wanna to make a phone call, but my phone got barred, deng, how to call for seeking help? I am so damn helpless that time.

Once the accident happened, many Malays came out, if not mistaken, there are more than 10 of them, I am not trying to exaggerate of the amount, there are indeed MANY of them, and this really freak me out, trembling and cry on the spot! They then kept told me:" Moi, cepat lo, hantar dia pergi HUKM atau clinic".

Thank God, my friend called me and I immediately told him where am I and ask him go to HUKM meet with me as soon as possible. Thank you Alvin. Muacks!! Your call save my life.

Okay, I fetched this victim to HUKM. On the way to hospital, I asked if he knew those who came by just now, he told me he knew none of them, (Oh shit) its really SHIT, some of them follow us to hospital. Deng lo, what happen, why still follow my car? HELP!!*

Reached hospital, and Alvin reached too, (Thank God! muacks!) Okay, done every checked up, settle everything under table, then Alvin helped me to pay for the medical fees and the compensation on this victim's bike (Thanks again). We spent almost 2 hours at hospital.

Initially I thought to repair my car first before back home, Alvin took me to the bengkel neat by his house, but aiyo, I only can take my car at 8pm. Arg, can not la, its too late, I have to back home and accompany dad to Low Yat as I promised him earlier.

Haih, nothing can do. It's my fault, and thus I need to admit. I am preparing to get scold from parents.

Reached home. Dad and mom are there. Haih, sei jao sei la, told them the whole process honestly, suprisingly, daddy didnt scold me, but mom. Well, its ok, afterall its my fault. I know, they are worrying on me, scare I will get hurt.

This accident make me realize and understand of something.

p/s: Alvin, thanks so much. muacks.

问题少女

2008-07-28T10:36:00.003+08:00

我竟然变成朋友眼中的问题少女!!! 以及很难搞的人!!
mommy ar~

怎么搞的？咋到。。

想多也是问题吗？就顶多问多几句咯，本小姐笨嘛，所以就得问多一点咯。

To Miao and Jason:
你们hor，我没话说。就只有咋到。
还是第一次听到朋友这么说我。
是好是坏？tak tau.
我不难搞，难搞的部分就只是要别人知难而退罢了。。

放过我

2008-07-27T22:40:00.002+08:00

第一次我要求别人放过我。。。
你厉害！甘拜下风。

放过我，好不好？

放过我，可不可以？

我求求你放过我！！！！！！！！！
听懂了没？

我很反感！！

放过我！！

矛盾

2008-07-27T18:35:00.002+08:00

很矛盾。。

我想爱，但又向往单身的自由
想爱的冲动蠢蠢欲动，向往单身的自由却不肯让步

妈的，到底是怎样嘛？

矛盾中。。

梦

2008-07-27T11:52:00.002+08:00

昨晚发了一个很奇怪的梦，搞不懂其中的所以然。

梦境中，我的前男友打电话给我。。。

“最近很忙吗？” #他的口气一般#

[哦，还好啦，还不是一样] #我一如往常给了一般的回答#

“哦，既然如此，那为什么我没收到你每早的message 呢？” #他的语气中显得有些生气#

[huh?] #搞什么鬼？搞不懂到底发生什么事#

语毕。。。电话两头静了好一阵子。。

#就在大家保持沉默的时候，心想，我们不是分手了吗？你当初不是不告而别了吗？你当初的冷漠无情你忘记了吗？你不是不想收到我的message的吗？怎么现在的你那么的反常？你到底知不知道我们是分手了呢？你到底在想什么？骨子里的你又想玩什么把戏？#

挣扎。。
醒了。。
做家务去。。

很奇怪的一个梦，到底是什么意思呢？
茫然。。。

卡门

2008-07-27T00:41:00.004+08:00

歌曲：卡门
歌手：张惠妹 专辑：歌声妹影

[ti:卡门]
[ar:张惠妹]
[al:爱的力量10年情歌最精选]

爱情不过是一种普通的玩意一点也不稀奇
男人不过是一件消谴的东西有什么了不起
爱情不过是一种普通的玩意儿一点也不稀奇
男人不过是一件消谴的东西有什么了不起
什么叫情什么叫意还不是大家自已骗自己
什么叫痴什么叫迷简直是男的女的在做戏
是男人我都喜欢不管穷富和高低
是男人我都抛奔不怕你再有魔力
爱情不过是一种普通的玩意儿一点也不稀奇
男人不过是一件消谴的东西有什么了不起
爱情不过是一种普通的玩意儿一点也不稀奇
男人不过是一件消谴的东西有什么了不起
lanour lamour lamour
什么叫情什么叫意还不是大家自已骗自已
什么叫痴什么叫迷简直男的女的在做戏
是男人我都喜欢不管穷富和高低
是男人我都抛奔不伯你再有魔力
什么叫情什么叫意还不是大家自已骗自己
什么叫痴什么叫迷简直是男的女的在做戏
你要是爱上了我你就自已找晦气
我要是爱上于你你就死在我手里

还是注明一点比较好，免得惹来不必要的麻烦或一大箩筐的解释

最近的我是迷上这首歌，觉得这个词很贴切。。
很潇洒的沦落在爱情游戏里；但，一旦爱上，就会爱到底。
然而，现在的我，说真的。。。
爱，其实不算什么东西，它就是一堂我每天都得上的人生道理课。

爱上这首歌的另一个理由也不过是因为最后的那两句歌词。。
超爱~

虽然我很冷，毅然拒绝他人的追求，但会尽可能撇除不必要的双方伤害。
歌词里的 “你要是爱上了我你就自已找晦气” 对于现在的我确实是很贴切。

接下来的那一句 “我要是爱上于你你就死在我手里”，没那么严重。。
顶多就是我心甘情愿的做你的小女人罢了，依偎在你的怀抱。

如果我真地爱上你，就会毫无保留的爱你。
只要我爱你，我就会爱你100分；如果你有什么差错，分数自然会倒扣。
那时候，不是我的错，而是你的错，是你自己的行为惹得祸，是你自己让分数减少。

如果我真的迷上你，我就不会放弃你。
只要迷上你，只要你有自家的魅力让我崇拜你，哪怕就只是那么丁点的本事，而我也爱上你的话，我不会放弃彼此的感情，直到真的没转弯的余地。

[过]

2008-07-26T16:22:00.005+08:00

感情是人生里必上的一课。。。
跌跌又撞撞
这里黑那里青

暗叹。。
庆幸。。
感恩。。
幸福。。

综合之前的每一段恋情，从执著。。。

“说过给我的依赖，怎么默默的就拿走？

说过给我的宠爱，怎么默默的就没收？

说过给我的幸福，怎么默默的就转让？
说过给我的甜蜜，怎么默默的就变淡？”

变潇洒。。。领悟了。。谢谢。。

“[过] 是过去式
说[过] 说[过]，说了就[过]
同样的

爱[过] 爱[过]，爱了就[过]”

相信当下忘记当下
相信情绪忘记字句

我相信你对我许下承诺的当下，我相信你当时的情绪
随之而来的是
我选择淡忘你许下的承诺，淡忘承诺里的每一个字句

p/s:
突发而想的情况下所写的。。。
虽然是亲身经历过的事，但是[过去式]。。。
别乱猜~

星座 AND 测试 (Part 2)

2008-07-26T11:24:00.003+08:00

天蝎座闷骚指数：92%
天蝎妹妹的爱情也位居“闷骚”型的前列。你的神秘气质让你有种特殊的性感风情，让男生无法抗拒；你可以一个人闷在角落里默默观察，近乎冷漠的神情让人难以亲近；而且有着极强的占有欲，显得有些霸道、贪婪。若能卸去外表的冷漠无情，多一些宽容与理解，把你内心的热情表现出来，你的桃花会开得艳丽多姿。

12星座不要爱情的理由
天蝎座——因为不爱
爱的时候无法不爱，不爱的时候也无法去爱，蝎子早已参透了这一点，所以他们根本不需要理由。缘尽，情了，对于蝎子来说很自然，也很必需。在爱情的过程中，蝎子是最纠缠的，然而关于结果，蝎子却是最潇洒的。

12星座的外遇对象会是谁?
处女座、天蝎座：同舟共济的工作搭档
处女座择人的标准很苛刻，一旦觉得某人还不错，一定是在长期考验和接触之后，这样的情况下，办公室的搭档便首先列入考虑范围了，尤其是跟处女座工作很合拍的人，况且，处女座也很少接触到太多工作范围之外的人哦！天蝎座最欣赏有能力的精明人，一旦共事被天蝎座欣赏之后，蝎子们爱情上的闸门自然就很快打开了。

12星座谁吵架最厉害？
NO.4天蝎座
高手中的高手，话一出口，轻则换来自怨自哀，重则遭来血光之灾或杀身之祸．言语无比激烈，管你是男女老少老弱病残，有话直说，白刀子进，红刀子出，辛辣刺耳，搬弄是非，搞得人心惶惶。

3种星座女孩男人最难放弃
第三名：天蝎座
天蝎座的女生通常很强势，在生活和工作中都要求上进，但她并不介意跟条件比自己差的男生交往。只要对方真心爱她，她也会同样的爱对方。但正因为如此，双方各方面条件的差异让她希望另一半能同她一样进步，无形中可能会带给对方不小的压力。

好在天蝎座有一种信念：虽然男朋友现在不够好，但是以后一定会好起来，她愿意倾其所有地帮助对方、鞭策对方。这点往往令男生对她心怀感激，而不忍心轻易说分手。

测试：你和他会结婚吗？
选（喝一半左右）的朋友你是属于【结婚型】
年纪到了心也想安定的你会想要找对象结婚：这类型的人觉得自己要什么或者喜欢什么样的人都知道了，而且年纪渐长该谈恋爱也谈了，该经历的也经历了，现在的心情就是想安定下来了。

测试：看看你是一个结婚狂吗？
选C：晚婚型
你自己和身边朋友的经历常常会让你有相爱走不到一起的遗憾，和相恋不一定要结婚的感叹。你不再期盼童话般的爱情，并认识到和相爱的人结婚并不等于一定会幸福。也因为不能和最爱的人在一起，你开始细心挑选一个条件优秀并适合你的对象，这通常需要一点时间，所以你的结婚年龄会比较晚。

测试：你的恋爱级别多高？
选B：恋爱段数80分
你对感情拿得起放得下，绝不会为情所苦。这种类型的人之前曾经为情所困，如今已经化茧成蝶，并认为自由自在地做回自己感觉最好。

测试：从吃饭看你的恋爱性格
选A：现实而且很理智
你是一个很现实而且很理智的人，会有选择的结交朋友。人际关系把握的很到位，会吸引各种类型的人。但自己很明白最合适自己的是哪种类型，因此在选择男（女）朋友的时候很实际，结局令双方都满意。

测试：看你适合恋爱还是单身？
选“跟双方沟通一下”的朋友：你适合单身。
需要空间的你一个人自由自在的生活反而更适合你：这类型的人个性特质上比较理性，就算一时冲昏头陷入爱情，可是昏头指数还是比一般人少一点，之後他会开始分析这段恋情，因此在做抉择时就会非常理性。

测试：你会让异性心动吗？
选「租下大楼看板秀出我爱你」的朋友：你【有】让异性心痒痒的本事。
脑袋灵光的你很清楚怎么去挑逗异性，暧昧的言语加上不经意的肢体动作要异性不对你心痒痒也难：这类型的人有很多策略以及计谋早就在脑中不知演练几百遍了，当中意的异性出现时会帮对方按摩一下或者帮对方拨头发…等等，让异性有贴心又窝心的感觉，自然而然就会有想要近一步接触的想法。

测试：将来你会遇到几段感情？
限：稳定而长久的单一发展感情
此这是“阜”与“艮”的组合，代表着你未来的爱情运将会是阻碍重重。因为“艮”是高山险阻之意，代表你面对爱情就像沉稳固执的山，再心动也不易表现于外，或许对于现在的爱情观听多、看多了而感到退步，若真如此，可能需要改变一下自我观念，才不至于影响未来感情发展。

测试：你变心的速度有多快?
选「你爸或你爸妈」的朋友你发现对方说谎欺骗你，你就会生气变心。变心指数55﹪：
这类型的人在爱情的性格上，在交往的时候会百分之百的信任对方，如果发现对方竟然欺骗自己，这时候会非常生气而变心。

测你:你会和哪种男人一夜情
漂亮而拥有魅力的陌生人无疑是你会选择的一夜情最佳人选
你对于感情的要求是一触即发的，只有让你一见钟情的人才能够征服你难以收服的野心。漂亮，有魅力，看起来睿智这些都是会导致你上瘾的毒药。然而长期交往的人必然会看到对方这样或者那样的缺陷，漂亮的陌生人就完全不会有这样的问题了，而且也不会给你带来麻烦，所以陌生人是你会选择的一夜情对象。

测试：什么是你最厉害的阴招？
D、走性感撩人路线朝他放电
选择这个选项的朋友，你最拿手的就是拉帮结派，发动人际攻势；人缘颇好的你很擅长发动人的力量，必要的时候会通过煽动舆论，或者拉拢周边的人壮大你阵脚来迎战你面临的问题，所以选择这个选项的朋友，看起来和蔼可亲的你其实还是不好惹的人物呢

测试：你在谈恋爱时有多贱？
选择3的人：
谈恋爱的时候是好命一条！因为恋爱中还能尽量做自己的你，维持互相尊敬跟体谅，在大家眼中还算是个好命人。这类型的人在感情中，其实经修过很多恋爱学分，现在已经快要毕业，所以你懂得互相尊敬、照顾对方，比较理性。

Please

2008-07-25T22:50:00.005+08:00

Leave me alone la! 放过我吧!

It's really E-N-O-U-G-H!
What you want from me?

Trying to show me your determination?
Trying to show me how much you love me?
Trying to show me how important I am to you?
Trying to get my attention?
Trying to get my sympathy?

Oh~ Please...
Please leave me alone, ok?
What you doing now is indeed causing disturbance in my daily life, and I feel like getting torture from you psychologically.
I feel so sick of you.
Oh God~
You know? I am not somebody to you and so you are..
We're just friend.

F-R-I-E-N-D!!
Clear enough?

I concern you because you are my friend, nothing more than that..

测试 AND 星座

2008-07-25T14:24:00.004+08:00

测试：你是哪种勾魂的女人？

B：你是气质优雅、亲切善良的勾魂女人。　

天生优雅迷人的外貌和气质，使你几乎根本不用学习，你身上所具的勾魂夺魄的吸引力是与生俱来的，你的追求都者甚众，这也自然不断地抬高着你的身价，但难能可贵的是你却是那么的平易近人，和谒可亲，就象那莲花般只敢用心欣赏呵护却不能有点滴邪念亵玩，也正是因为你的这种性格，你也很容易和各种不同个性的人友好地相处在一起。

测试:看看你为了什么而结婚？

1、选“需要花钱却省时省力的缆车”

你为了优越的生活而结婚。因此，不管你多么喜欢对方，如果他/她没有经济实力或者工作不稳定的话，你也绝对不会和她/她走到一起，你希望找一个在一流企业工作前途无量的人，建立一个令所有人羡慕的理想家庭。如果你是位男性，则希望妻子相貌出众家庭富裕。

风骚女人排行第五名：天蝎座

强烈，是天蝎座的人的突出性格表现。巨大的耐力使他敢于迎接艰难险阻，并能征服之。喜欢改善自己的工作和生活环境；喜欢更新自己的想法，而不喜欢无所事事和庸庸碌碌的生活，那会使他丧失生机和活力。

只有在激情、失望和泪水中才能感到自己的存在和欢乐。她能经受生活不幸的洗礼和考验。喜欢戏剧性的变化。她会感到或使人感到性爱的巨大吸引力。魅力会帮助她在人生道路上畅通无阻地前进。这是个以自我为中心的人，对人有很大的吸引力，这一点在她青年时代就充分表露出来。因而她常常会给周围的人留下深刻的印象。性情暧昧，既高傲又胆怯，既温情又冷酷，既向往性爱又谨慎克制。天蝎座就是这样把她那热情如过的个性隐藏在冷静的外表之下。

总体来讲，这是个截然不同的风骚星座，嗯~应该属于闷骚型哦。

Study Look

2008-07-24T16:41:00.006+08:00

Apologize to those who got frighten by my previous pic in my blog
hahah~
Study look
Is it far more better than the previous one?
hahah~

向之前被我的累垮样子吓倒的人道歉
好吧？
是不是比之前那张正常很多呢？
是不是没那么吓死人了呢？

老顽童 vs. 老可爱

2008-07-24T11:38:00.013+08:00

看吧！我家的两个老顽童，返老还童中。。^___^

新买的眼睛按摩器。。

爸爸戴上后就摆出ultraman的pose。顿时，全家笑翻天。。

我家的第一号老顽童。。我父亲。。
呵呵呵

我家的老可爱。。妈妈。。她在撒娇中。。

平日的沟通方式就是：你咋我一下，我咋你两下。

开心的时候：nor~ 就这样抱抱咯

天蝎男与狮子女的相处。。。

最近老是看见家里的两佬越来越大胆了，竟然在我们的面前打情骂俏！
哎哟，我羡慕啦。。
这就是他们的相处方式，一个以幽默，互咋的互动来维持婚姻里的甜蜜。。
心想，日后，我会这样吗？

我家有3只天蝎，我爸，我妹，与我。三只天蝎！！！
但，共同点就是：
一放轻松兼聚在一起瞎掰的时候，就很够力，笑声不停在客厅响起。。大家就开始使出浑身乏术，把对方咋到没声出方罢休。但，还是得看情况而异啦，再怎样，还是得尊重嘛。。

我的性格与父亲一样，真的有够ging！
我看，应该蛮难看到我表面上的温柔吧，也许就会像我爸一样。。
gotcha! 我不透露，免得引来不必要得expectation

糟糕

2008-07-22T12:21:00.005+08:00

每晚这么迟睡，金睛火眼都快练成了。。。
眼袋大得要命！

最近的熬夜，超级熊猫眼黑得比国宝还要黑。。
够力，不化妆都不行！

丧尸般的生活，日夜颠倒的作息，新陈代谢也变得慢了许多。。。
妈的，又便秘！

烦恼并不比上帝多，但也不会比凡夫俗子少。。堆积如山的烦恼。。。
放过我嘛~

眼前的事惹得我一个头两个大，但绝不会把我给打垮或惹毛。。
最多在夜里哭一哭，随后继续为完成的事。。

疲惫的眼神。。无力的眼神。。。很大的黑眼圈。。

妈咪啊~我很累。。

周帅，快点叫你宝贝周公子找我下棋去。。

Lewis

2008-07-20T23:25:00.005+08:00

这篇entry是应我一个朋友 (Mr.Lewis) 的请求而写的
在电话挂上之前，他说："Since你这样喜欢blog，等下你要写出来有个傻佬告诉你他想你喔"

他说: "哇！你成天不是上网就是做你的东西，很忙hor。。留点时间想想我好喔~ 我这样挂念你，我都没feel到你挂着我"　

我说: [哦，是咯。还有东西要做嘛。Thesis嘛．哇！是啊？拿衣架挂着不就是ok咯？ngam mou?]　

接下来就是一阵的瞎聊
什么衣架啦，照片啦，变态啦，counselor 啦 etc...
真的可以归类为 crap talk, hahahah~
(Lewis, 别生气喔~ 哈哈哈)
但，说真的，还蛮开心，蛮酷的

以下就是给你的一些话：

"虽然彼此不是认识很久，没有一年也没半载，就那么短短的几个月．哈哈，正确的日子我忘了．好啦，简单一点，就是不是认识很久咯~ ok mou?

但，说真的，我觉得彼此好像认识了好一段日子一样．不晓得你是否也一样．至少对我而言，我有着这样的感觉．也许是因为你每次的来电 (不是那种追魂多命calls)，每次的forward psychological test message，每次的答案，都让人觉得匪夷所思，很暧昧．哈哈哈．疯了！没啦，其实也许是因为之前的瞎聊拉进彼此的距离．也许是一种错觉．

彼此的见面次数，也不过是那么的一次，而且还是我叫你出来的！而你还在那里想东想西，问这问那，真的是气死人了啦~ 哎哟，怕什么啦，我女生都不怕，你是男生呐，怕什么呢？我虽然很凶，很无里头，但，总不会把你给吃了的．那次的见面是不是见识了我和朋友在 K room 里的颠呢？哈哈哈．所以嘛，不用怕．

其是第一次的见面，你让我想到那位与我同姓的他．你的第一次来电，让我觉得你是一位很assertive的人．你第一次告诉我你和她的故事，那些往事，让我觉得你对我的信赖，同时也证明你没事了．很棒．接下来偶尔的通电，让我觉得彼此似乎认识了很久．有种老朋友的感觉．

好啦，记得你说的话吧．待你赶完功课后，再找一天聚一聚吧．"

宝贝[J]

2008-07-19T22:10:00.004+08:00

频频点头着，开怀的大笑着。
为什么呢？

频频点头是因为蛮赞成宝贝[J]说的：“被人排队追其实并不是什么好康，反而坏事一箩箩”
感同身受！
宝贝，来，Give me Five!

开怀大笑不就是又被我的宝贝[J]咋到咯。。。
看了宝贝的部落格: “有种就向我告白，我才不怕呢！因为。。全部追我的，都是好的--一一介绍给我好朋友Rach去了！”
还以为宝贝会说出什么特别的原因，谁知道。。。
晕掉。。。
咋到。。。
gek到。。。
哈哈哈哈。。。

但，除了咋到的感觉之外，真的还蛮贴心的。

p/s: 宝贝[J]，muacks muacks!! 有种想立刻去见见你的冲动。
也唱首歌给你听。。

张学友的《每天爱你多一些》
。。。。
而每过一天每一天这醉者
便爱你多些再多些至满泻
我发觉我最爱与你编写以后明天的深夜
而每过一天每一天这醉者
便爱你多些再多些至满泻
我最爱你与我这生一起哪惧明天风高路斜
。。。。

p/s:好啦，知道你要说什么，肉麻嘛，对不对？haih....

突然想[婚]

2008-07-18T03:29:00.000+08:00

无聊上网看看戒指，眼前琳琅满目的戒指
好吸引~
突然有想婚的冲动，但没有伴侣
可以跟自己结婚吗？

第一眼就爱上这结婚戒指
三颗钻石的位置有如被指环的两端小心翼翼地保护着
戴上这特别设计的戒指
心想：日后我的他，是否会如此的小心呵护着我？
*POKE*

典型的设计，低调的高贵
平凡中不失应有的不平凡
能够得到自己的挚爱，不就是平凡中的不平凡了吗？

交错的设计，指环的粗细不一
是否意味着表面粗枝大叶的人
私低下也会有细腻的一面呢？

平均的厚度加上一颗大小适中的钻石点缀
显露出平凡设计中的texture
是否象征着一段感情里的一份真情
彼此公平的对待加上适中的生活surprise

黑色钻石的点缀
颠反了传统白色结婚钻戒
新新人类勇于显出自我

天蝎不执著

2008-07-17T15:21:00.004+08:00

昨天　与朋友逛夜市
瞄到一本书《有种爱叫放手》
今早　听音乐
梁静茹《瘦瘦的》
“为了抢快乐搞得不快乐　为什么人总那么傻呢　”
嘴里不断的哼起

我知道　心中有种领悟　执著累人累己
这条路　甚崎岖　难分难舍　百般煎熬
我走过　但绝不是唯一的过路人　
放了手　不再折磨自己　坚强面对一切

我明白　爱不一定要占有　但也不强求
要快乐　得靠自己　朋友不能永远提供该服务
我清楚　我快乐的根源就是坦诚对待自己

我领悟　当爱已逝去　什么也挽回不了　
再不舍　也绝不可以委屈自己换真爱
我懂得　该醒时就得醒　该放就得放

突然发现
存在小小的世界里的凡人
虽然不是每个都必须日理万机
却甘为了大大的梦想　心中的爱
付出一切　在所不辞

为了心中的爱
抱着顽强的倔强　守着心中的执著
承受着旅途中的风风雨雨　跌跌又撞撞
就只为了争取自己要的快乐
这份执著　
我很佩服　也很欣赏

我失去这份对爱的执著
也许　是因为我真的太冷了
也许　是因为我将心紧锁了
也许　是因为我真的可以如此的潇洒

我失去对爱过分的执著
或许　是因为我失去感性太理智
或许　是因为我只是不对我的爱执著
或许　是因为我相信 ‘是我的就是我的’ 的原理

其实我是知道的
我决不会让任何人主宰我的快乐　我的幸福
我也知道
苦苦在原地挣扎不垮步　我将不会成长
我坚信　每次的跌倒　将会创造更我好的我

正所谓：世上没有不散的宴席
当缘尽缘散的时候　就得说再见
今日的分开不代表它日不会再见面
也许当若干年后的相见　
你会谢谢曾经的放手　曾经的不执著

乌龟盗用他人名字

2008-07-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

茫茫人海中，或多或少会有些与自己同名或同姓，甚至于同名同姓的人。这并不出奇，因为人的本能就是会为自己的名字点缀一点，好让别人分辨这名字是谁。例如: 'Alvin ' 这洋名蛮多人用，要别人知道谁是谁，所以就会在后面加上自己的姓。自然而然，此 Alvin 非彼 Alvin --> 此 Alvin 是 Alvin Lee，彼 Alvin 是 Alvin Kok。再说，如果想给一个人留言的话，要嘛，我们就留下自己的名字，要不就给自己想出一个匿名。就算真的又碰到一样的名字和匿名，我们还是会再加点什么好让主人翁知道谁是谁，避免把两个不同的人当成是同一个人嘛。

大多数给我留言给的，不管是在我的 entry 留 feed-backs 或是在 chat box 留 messages，我都知道不同的名字代表着不同的他们。哈哈哈，趁机谢谢你们的回应。=）人总会是有好奇心的，我也不例外，所以当看见陌生的 nick names 时，好奇心作祟，总会问问对方是谁。至于对方是否要向我透露他是身份嘛，很明显的，我是管不着，再说选择将自己的身份保密是他的权利，要对我留怎样的 feed-backs OR messages 我也管不着，我也不会因为谁谁谁的留言而又 hard feelings, 皆因你我都有言论自由，你我都随身携带着不同的大脑，所以我选择尊重和接受。

但，面对这盗用他人身份的乌龟，莫名其妙的，内心那团火不是很大，一瞬间就没了。但面对这卑鄙无耻盗用他人身份的乌龟，还真的不吐不快。我现在就是不爽你的鬼祟，怎样？要嘛，就光明正大得说出自己的大名。要不就动动你的龟脑想个匿名。再不，就用 "anonymous" 来代替。干嘛要盗用他人的名字？就算你真的要盗用，也麻烦你，动动你的脑细胞，睁大你的眼睛看清楚，做点调查，到底你用的那个名字，是不是我的朋友，还是一个路过的人。要做小人，就干脆点，不要留下首尾。做一半留一半，算什么好汉？窝囊。

其实，今天除了惯性的在 chat box 里看 “星星” 给我的对话，我还看见这两则留言：

(15 Jul 08, 20:14): 321@.@: 不爱你就不爱，有什么了不起的？怎么以为自己好像很受欢迎太多人追似的。扮什么清高嘛？
(15 Jul 08, 19:58): 321@.@: 真绝。。。

我知道 “321@.@” 是谁，所以，也没多加以猜测对方到底是谁。只是当时的我像是突然开窍似的，顿时有种 “又看透一个人” 的想法。心想：“ 你这个 321@.@ 也不过如此嘛，电话里说得怎么跟这里留言的不一样。想你大概也被我的冷给击退了吧！但也好，终于让我看见你的真面目。”
另外，也有另一个想法：“好哇，321@.@，你也蛮大胆的，竟然敢用我熟悉的匿名留下这种字句，不错，够坦白！够光明正大。” 所以，当时的我就断定这两则留言一定是来自于他。觉得应该不会有人卑鄙到盗用他人的身份。

321@.@ 给我来电。“好啊，天助我也。留了这样的 message，还敢打电话过来，真得很够大胆，本小姐喜欢！以为我不知道是你么？好。”
当时的我，有种想拆穿他的面具的冲动。很想看见他那副被抓正的样子到底是怎样。以及很想看见他那副“糟糕。逃不了”的样子。

“我看了你给我的留言，不错嘛。谢谢”

[huh? 你说什么？没有啦，没给你留什么言]

“哦？是吗？321 不是你吗？”

[不是啦，我一直以来都是用另一个名字给你留言的啦，不可能是我啦]

“哦，是哦？不可能，321 这组数字对你来说很重要，而且别忘了，之前你也试过用这 nick name 留过言哦。你忘了吗？”

[哦？是吗？哈哈哈，我忘了]

“再掰嘛，人少少就忍了吧”

[什么人少少，你我不就两个人了吗？还说少？]

“好啊，不认也罢，我知道是你就好。” 眼看他是应该不会承认的，就想说给他一个下台的阶梯。 “好啦，开玩笑的啦。”

[好啦，是我啦，知道了又问？你很衰的。]

从他当时的反应，我真的还蛮确定那两则留言就是他留的。但，我并没有发飙，还可以心平气和地与他通电话。只是当时的我就喃喃自语地说着：“好，装啊，继续装，我看你可以装多久”
直到聊到最后最后，我问他说的什么 “装清高”，“什么说到好像很多人追似的” 到底是什么意思的时候，方知道有人盗用他的身份留言！从我对他的了解，他的错愕，他的理直气壮，他的恶毒誓言，我相信他，我相信那段长的留言 ( 321@.@: 不爱你就不爱，有什么了不起的？怎么以为自己好像很受欢迎太多人追似的。扮什么清高嘛？ ) 不是他留的。

我并不知道是谁盗用他的名字给我留言，但，这种认真的很令人讨厌！鬼祟兼不分红清皂白就下定论。很好！

给那只盗用别人名字的乌龟：

“你真得很没种！你这头缩头乌龟，你自己没有名字吗？为什么要盗用别人的名字？要留的话，就用你自己的名字留，要不就动动你的龟脑袋想想要用怎样的 nick name。

还有，你了解我多少？你清楚我多少？你把头给缩了起来，你看清什么的？你凭什么说我装清高？我什么时候说过自己很受欢迎？就只读了我那一篇entry 就留那样的 message？哈哈哈，你真得有够非常好笑！

你的错误理解，是你自己心态的问题，是你的先入主为官的问题。你对我有多少人追而感到迷惑，也很谢谢你。因为这证明你看的世界还不够大，不相信世上确实真的有人会同时给那么多人追。对于你的肤浅，我很抱歉。

我没呼隆我有多少个人追着我，我从没在这里大声说出正确数字。我也不觉得需要拿着数字来炫耀我是否那么的受欢迎。但，我并没有扭曲实事啊，事实上就是有不少人在追着我啊，我身边的朋友都知道。但，我也没因此而感到骄傲或是开心的。是你觉得我在炫耀罢了，这是你的问题。再说，在那篇 entry 之前，我也曾经 post 过类似的 entry -- 三番四次的坦诚现在的我不想恋爱。所以一直一来，我都是用着一样的态度对待他们--就是 “冷”。要不你这冒牌 321@.@ 大可问正牌的 321@.@ 我是否很冷。摸索清楚事情后再做结论，这是很基本的道理，难道你不晓得吗？悲哀。

还有，我只说出我的心声，有什么问题？再说，这是我的部落格，我的天地，我有我的权力写我要说的话，这似乎与你无关吧。你不喜欢，大可按 “关闭” 不读我的部落格，眼不见为净。你可知道人权是什么？你可知道言语自由是什么？再说，坦白地说出我现在根本不想投入一段感情，有错吗？他们对我的爱，我很谢谢，但，很可惜，只是一段错爱。我很坦然地告诉他们，有错吗？Assertive 有错啊？至少，我敢说出来啊，不浪费他们的时间，总好过在那里把他们拖着吧？这就是我，你奈的我何吗？这是我的生活，与你又有什么关系？这是我的性格，碍到你生活的那一部分呢？

那组数字对他的重要性，你不懂。盗用他的 nick name 还一副自以为没人会察觉的态度，可悲。天网恢恢啊。最重要的是，用你自己的身份留言，够胆量的话，就报上你的大名。不要的话，就躲进你的龟壳里，不要盗用他人的 nick name。”

真的不吐不快！
盗用他人的名字，是不是想将那句话当作是他对我说的，并非你说的？
真得很够乌龟王八蛋！诬蔑他人！

不要爱上我　(updated)

2008-07-15T00:53:00.012+08:00

现在，请不要爱上我，因为：

因为现在我不想体会相爱的滋味 (updated)
因为现在的我有私念
因为现在的我只想享受单身的自由 (updated)
因为天蝎正发挥其毒性
因为我将心冰封抗拒被俘虏 (updated)
因为你绝对会被我的冷给冷冻
因为我绝对不会公开我俩的关系
因为你不会得到我公平的对待
因为此刻的我没有心动的感觉 (updated)
因为你的毅力不被我看好而且会被我挫败 (updated)
因为我忘了爱人的感觉
因为我怀疑你对我的是哪种爱
因为我讨厌你刻意的讨好
因为此刻的爱我的你不会比我自己更重要 (updated)
因为我知道我要的不是现在
因为我不会因你为我所做的而感动
因为我会尽我所能发挥其冷漠让你却步 (updated)
因为我感到很累不想爱只想迷恋
因为此刻的我只想拥抱单身
因为那股爱的冲动已在心田消失了
因为我已看透爱情的可遇不可求
因为我是一只对自己的爱情超级冷血的蝎子 (updated)
因为你这艘艇，我搭不上 (updated)

所以，还是不要爱上我。。。

不要。。。

不要。。。

真的不要。。。

爱你自己会比较好。。。

如果真的爱我，那就听天由命吧。。

(updated)
等待爱情运的到来吧。。。
但，只想对爱我的你说：

谢谢你对我的厚爱，但这绝对是一段错爱
谢谢你，但我决不会因为你对我的爱而小路乱撞，这感觉早已消失，也不准在此刻再出现
对不起，现在的我，我的笑是不会因为你而绽放
谢谢你，但对不起，你在错的时间爱上我
你还没得到其钥匙，得到开启我心房的钥匙才再进攻
玫瑰虽然很美，但它总是带刺的，可看不可碰
千年以来的蝎子神秘面纱决不会因为谁而卸下
你的出现，没为我心田带来点点的涟漪
你不可能能够忍受我的冷和冰地反应，你大可以掉头就走，就当作我不识货
不是你不好，只是在错的时间让彼此遇上
上天对你我开了个玩笑
放下执著吧

现在，还是别爱我好。。。

别爱上现在的我。。。

Questions

2008-07-14T14:38:00.005+08:00

1. Shortest relationship?
:: 724 hours ::

2. Last gift you received?
:: It will always be the precious bless from GOD ::

3. Ever dropped a cell phone?
:: Yes, damn it, been used it for a week only ::

4. Last food you ate?
:: Choi, I am still alive la~ ::

5. Last club you went to?
:: Rachel's club ::

6. Last drink?
:: Wine ::

7. One favorite song?
:: Superwoman by Gary Chao ::

8. Where do you live?
:: Rachel's destiny ::

9. Last wedding you attended:
:: Unknown person's wedding ::

10. Last time you saw your friend?
:: Everyday in my life ::

11. Where is your favorite place to eat with friends?
:: Anywhere as long as the environment is comfortable ::

12. Last time you cried?
:: Moment ago ::

13. Why?
:: "The Brides" by Zita Law, very touching ::

14. Hate most about yourself?
:: What the heck? I love myself~ ::

15. Can you sing?
:: Of course can sing, better than William Hung, but not as fortunate as him ::

16. Do you drink?
:: Prefer Wine the most ::

17. Pancakes or French toast?
:: Sandwich ::

18. Do you like coffee?
:: Double Espresso ::

19. Last person who sends you a message?
:: Zita Law, the author of "The Brides" ::

20. What was the last message you received?
:: "Love is God's Will" ::

21. Can you play pool?
:: Prefer bowling more than pool ::

22. Can you swim?
:: Yes, but scare of water ::

23. Favorite flavor of ice cream?
:: Chocolate and Mango ::

24. What time did you wake up this morning?
:: 8:30am ::

25. What are you doing this week?
:: My own business, none of yours ::

26. Are you smiling?
:: No, pissing ::

27. Do you miss someone right now?
:: My Baby [J] ::

28. Do you have a sister?
:: Younger sister ::

29. Who is your closest cousin's name?
:: You wouldn't know who is he even if I mention his name here, so, what for? ::

30. What were you doing in 10 minutes ago?
:: Reading novel ::

31. If you were a color, what would you be?
:: Transparent ::

32. If you could go anywhere right now, where?
:: A trip to Heaven and Hell ::

33. Name a person who's name starts with the letter "J"
:: Jesus ::

34. Where's the best place to eat ice cream?
:: Ice-cream room ::

35. Radio station you frequently listen to?
:: Heart fm >.< - Rhythm of Rachel's soul ::

36. Where do you usually hang out?
:: My room ::

37. What are you going to do tomorrow?
:: Be myself ::

38. Favorite day?
:: Everyday ::

39. Are you easy to get along with?
:: Depends ::

40. What movie do you want to watch right now?
:: No, prefer sleep more ::

41. How many kids do you want?
:: Depends on the financial ability, will adopt ::

42. Where do you usually watch movies?
:: Everywhere, ever scene on street ::

43. Name one person which starts with the letter "m"?
:: M-U-M-M-Y, muahahaha ::

44. Favorite thing that you are having now?
:: Coldness ::

45. When will be your next holiday?
:: In holiday now ::

46. 3 names that in your mind:
:: Haagan Dazz; Sony Ericson; Pionner ::

47. Three things you are wearing right now:
:: Necklace; Bracelet; Ring ::

48. Three things you can't live without?
:: Laptop; Cell Phone; Money ::

49. What's your favorite cheese?
:: "Who moves my cheese?" ::

50. Have you ever been given a rose?
:: Never. But ever received 3 bouquets of blue roses, 2 bouquets of red roses, 1 bouquet of lily ::

51. What is you all-time favorite romance movie?
:: My personal love story ::

52. Have you ever been in love?
:: Yes, always, in love with my BED ::

53. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
:: Definitely, but it's hard to meet ::

54. What's / Who is your current problem?
:: Internet connection ::

55. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
:: YES, it's fragile, indeed ::

56. Your thoughts of online or long distance relationship?
:: Neutral, rely on faith ::

57. Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
:: YES, my Baby [J] ::

58. Do you believe on the statement "once a cheater always a cheater" ?
:: HELL YEA!!! ::

59. Do you believe you only love once?
:: Of course not! Love to my daddy; Love to my mommy; Love to my siblings; Love to my friends; etc... so many types of love, how could only love once? ::

60. Are you and your ex(s) friends?
:: Yes, but not all of them, only those who worth to maintain the friendship with me ::

61. 5 things inside your BAG:
:: Mascara; Purse; Cell Phone; Sun Block; Diary ::

62. At what age did you start liking the opposite sex?
:: Since childhood, target: my daddy! ::

63. What song do you want to be played at your wedding?
:: Song that specially composed by my husband ::

64. Do you like anyone right now?
:: Myself, of course ::

65. Do you believe eternal love?
:: Yes, because I am in love with myself ::

Love Survey

2008-07-14T13:09:00.007+08:00

1. Are you allowed to have a boyfriend?

♥ Who cares ♥

2. Describe yourself in one word

♥ Myself ♥

3. Who would you pick - someone who really loves you or the one you really love?

♥ Why must choose either one? I choose BOTH, I deserve the significant one and he does too ♥

4. Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?

♥ Nope. I prefer he confess to me XD ♥

5. Does it feel good to love?

♥ Definitely ♥

6. God is giving you just 5 more minutes to live, IF you love someone special what will you say to that person?

♥ You make me fall ♥

7. What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you?

♥ It's your choice of not believe in me, I don't care. I meant what I said and say what I mean. That's it ♥

8. Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?

♥ Yes, I accept ALL of his weaknesses ♥

9. What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?

♥ Annoying. Dangerous. Scary. Irritating. Nonsense ♥

10. What can you say about playboy and playgirl?

♥ Unidentifiable ♥

11. Best place to cry?

♥ My heart ♥

12. Who do you love the most?

♥ Myself ♥

13. Tell us your dream last night.

♥ Forgotten ♥

14. Ever hate someone so bad?

♥ No, what for to waste my energy to hate someone? Don be silly, It's not worth at all ♥

15. The biggest and the most hurtful lie you ever heard?

♥ When he told me he decided to give up on the relationship after he tried hard to save, but he is not, in fact. ♥

16. Had a beer with?

♥ No beer, preferably wine ♥

17. Went to the movies with?

♥ Significant one. Friends. My shadow ♥

18. Talked on the cell phone with?

♥ Whoever that call me ♥

19. You hugged..

♥ My soul ♥

20. You yelled at?

♥ Myself ♥

21. In the last week, have you kissed someone?

♥ No ♥

22. In the last week, have you sing?

♥ Of course ♥

23. In the last week, have you been hugged?

♥ Yes ♥

24. In the last week, have you danced Crazy?

♥ No, I sleep crazy ♥

25. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry?

♥ When someone trying to manipulate my life or my behaviors! ♥

26. You will die in three minutes. Last call?

♥ Mummy Daddy, thanks for bringing me into this world, Muacks~ ♥

27. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?

♥ I wish to explore and to experience more, I believe experiences that I had will shape a better me ♥

28. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?

♥ No. May be ever blackmailed by someone ♥

29. Are you old fashioned?

♥ Define old-fashioned please. I prefer to dress in my very unique fashion that could bring out who am I on that day ♥

30. What would be harder for you - to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

♥ It's easy though. "I do / do not love you, this is my choice, I don't care whats yours ♥

31. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?

♥ My life ♥

今夜的天蝎

2008-07-13T19:13:00.002+08:00

与家人在客厅看着连续剧
时而畅谈剧情情节
时而瞎掰一场
心血来潮
拿了瓶红酒与家人一起分享

酒的品质不错
很滑很顺口
口里的酒就有如丝布一般的柔顺
让人陶醉于它的香醇
酒的香味倔强的在口里逗留
悠悠难忘扣人心悬
突然
好像享受奢侈的红酒浴

夜深人静
家人一个接一个的会周公去
天蝎独自一人在客厅
畅饮杯中优质红酒
一杯接着一杯
迷恋它的香喜欢夜里的气息

开始有些晕眩
往日片段脑海闪烁
此刻的漂浮天蝎
醉翁之意不在酒
把酒问青天
青天劝我归梦去

好想睡觉去。。。
醉翁之意是啥
也许就是梦乡里的周公子

超歹势的一件事

2008-07-13T01:12:00.002+08:00

今天做了一件很歹势的事，真的超歹势！！

我竟然在我朋友面前喷面！！！

脸蛋顿时变红！！

很[愚]的一天。。

天蝎的形象。。毁于一旦。。

哈哈哈，没那么夸张啦，就接受不了自己的出糗

家中趣事 - 可爱妈妈

2008-07-12T14:59:00.003+08:00

话说。。。

今天下午，正当妈妈正在享受着她的下午茶时，突然她的手机响起。妈妈放下手上的面包，随手拿起手机接了那通来电。
以下是当时的对话：

[哈咯。妈妈。]
“哈咯”
[妈妈。。。]
“我是妈妈啊，可是我不是你的妈妈喔。你应该是打错电话了”
[哦？哦。]

p/s: 妈妈是笑着回答，完全没有什么异样

-完毕-

坐在妈妈眼前的我，好奇心作祟，问了问对方是谁。原以为妈妈会说是小妹或是小弟，怎知道她说是打错电话!!!!
顿时，我的表情就只有这么一个 (-.-)''' 随后就抱怀大笑，真的差点滚到地上去。
哇靠！真的没想到妈妈可以‘可爱’到这种地步！竟然可以与电话的另一头的那个小妹瞎掰到这样！我真得很佩服！也刮目相看。

分享家里的可爱妈妈的趣事。
以文字来带出这笑话其实真的很难，但我已经尽力的描述了。接下来的就需要你们的想象能力咯！

漂浮天蝎

2008-07-11T17:41:00.004+08:00

夜深人静
漂浮天蝎揪着一颗灰色的心
百思不得其解
没有多少人知道其中原因
心情跌进谷底

身边电话不停的震动着
盯着荧幕
接？不接？回？不回？
请让天蝎静一静
此时此刻的我不想开口说话

窗外的街灯
时而明亮时而昏暗
似乎反射了漂浮天蝎的世界
时而看透时而懵懂

漂浮的心
沿着地平线漂流着
形形色色的靠岸不停的召唤着
有些心动有些冲动
该停留吗？
苏州过后没艇搭？
毅然决定放弃愿意让漂浮天蝎停留的港口

此时此刻的漂浮天蝎
不想有个靠岸
天蝎揪着漂浮的心
继续闯天下继续的漂流

灵感消失了啦！！

2008-07-10T20:32:00.002+08:00

很想写些咚咚，但就只有呆呆地盯着银幕的份儿。
懊恼懊恼真懊恼！
真的很讨厌。。怎么会这样?
唯一想到的就是：“残了啦，我的写作灵感消失了！！”
怎么办呢？

原以为考完试后灵感会涌进脑海，怎知道，脑里空的可怜！
没有灵感，这是不意味着我的生活没什么起伏？或是意味着我对身边的事物没什么感觉?
奇怪奇怪真奇怪！

确实
我唯一能感觉得到的就是
我的心很空，但我并不觉得空虚
心像掏空了一样，失去知觉。
我很想迈前一步，但我知道现在的我提不起劲儿投入，所以还是别累人累己。

对你说的话。坦诚自己的失败

2008-07-09T18:26:00.007+08:00

考完试后的第一篇entry就是想对某个人说：

“之前有你的世界，我看见的就只有怕；没有你的世界后，我看见的是光明是彩虹。其实，你的出现让我觉得人的品行很重要，环境证据比人的供词更为重要。真的很谢谢你。

没有你，我不会跌到。没有你，我不会成长。没有你，我不会知道什么是残忍。没有你，我不会知道原来我卸下了保护层。同时，没有你，我不会有机会体会和承受那个痛。痛策心扉，我明了。

只想说：有你不怎么样，没有你后更不怎么样。你只不过是我生命里再普通不过的陌生人，一位生命里的过客。谢谢你！

因为你，我学会爱。因为你，我看见希望。因为你，我了解什么是虚伪。也因为你，我遇见更多更好更优秀的人。因为如此，我活得更好。

除了谢谢你，我还得更谢谢自己给机会伤害自己，因为在伤害自己的同时，也给自己一次成长的机会。”

总觉得，人嘛，总需要在失败中学习。
失败其实并不可耻，跌倒其实并不可怕。
“失败乃成功之母” 我很赞同。
没有失败，就不会有更优秀的自己。
只要懂得从错误中学习，什么困难都不是困难。
跌倒了，就得懂得爬起来，起来后，拍拍受伤的地方，看看留下的疤痕，收拾心情，继续未完的路。
再来耸耸肩，仰头一望蔚蓝的蓝天，你就会发现世界其实还是很美丽，世界不会因为你小小的过失而添加黑色素。
一次的失败，不小心的绊倒，并不代表永远的失败。
勇于坦诚自己的过失，坦然面对失败后的后果，人生才不会白过。
养成小强打不死的精神。失败了，再开始过。希望总在。

当你可以坦荡荡的畅说你的失败时，你就会有机会说：
“我就是失败过，怎样？至少我又学了一样新事件，我的经历榜上又添多了一项。你呢？”

心有余而力不足

2008-06-27T11:01:00.005+08:00

昨天吃晚餐的时候，贝贝说：
"Rach 啊，不如我们写一篇关于我们自己的喜好，若干年后再次阅读，看看我们变了多少”
心想，不错的idea嘛。
可是到了晚上，有心无力。
超级累，不够睡。
为什么呢？不就是因为跟贝贝聊天咯。
我超爱的贝贝。永远的第一！
前晚早上5点才会，然后7点又被叫醒。不累都假啦。对不对？

好，“我的喜好”开始咯。。。。。
在下一篇。。
哈哈哈哈哈!!!
酝酿情绪。。
出去'wet'了。。。贝贝我来了！！
回来再继续。。 0.o

轻松话题。

2008-06-26T10:01:00.002+08:00

赶完这个学期的功课。。
很轻松。。。
轻松到过陇。。。
竟然可以睡了超过12个小时。。。

映像中。。
朦朦胧胧的接了几通电话。。。
经常这样。。bai ga liao~
说了一些我也不知道自己在说什么话的话。。。
应该说我根本记不得我到底说了什么话！

刚睡醒。。。
12时。。。walao~ 12 hours, but still, haven break my longest record, 24 hours.
睡过头了。。
脑袋根本就还没开始运作。。。
大佬们瞬间罢工。。。
突然电话一来。。
“睡醒了没？我要到你家了。。。”
怎么一回事？咩事哦？？mou hak ngor la!

咋到。。。
真得很咋到。。。
他给我送了我想吃得东东。。
是有被感动到啦。。
更“感动”的事是。。
糟糕！
我刚睡醒的样子竟然曝光！！

晚上。。
跟我的宝贝聊天。。
3个小时！
聊什么？？
女人心事啦。。
东南西北前后左右上上下下。。。
聊个“死伯未了”(read in hokkien)
真的有够够力
还被叫衰婆tim!
haih~看啦，疼她她叫我衰婆。。
没天理啊！！

早上。。
看了她的信息读她的部落格。。
晕掉！咋到！
真的又再一次被咋到。。。
很痛那种！
不懂应该是觉得好笑啊。。还是什么。。
哭笑不得。。
就是只有咋到！！！
怎么可以这样啦。。哎哟！

finally

2008-06-24T23:29:00.001+08:00

Finally!!

All the assignments are completed!!

It's time to hang out with friends!!

Baby, here we go to 'wet'

I got my freedom back! YAHOO!!!

Touch of love

2008-06-21T15:09:00.000+08:00

Touch of Love

-Jaky Cheung-

This the season now

For gifts and giving all

The love about you

The hope that you've handed out

I want to give back all I have

And then some more

But i m only human

I can only do so much

But all the miracles we need

Is just one touch

Just one touch~

From me from you

Helping someone who cant make it on their own

No one wants to be alone at a time like this

Only joy should exist

When the worlds gets too much

All we need, all we need is a touch of love~

When hard times appeared

When we drown in our tears

There's faith enough to see us through

Whatever rains on us

We can always trust

That heaven's hand will guide us through

Yeah ~

we're only human~

But we can all do so much

All the miracls we need

Is just one touch

Yeah~

just one touch

It took a child to touch the world

Just think wat we can do

Think of the miracles

——————————————————————————————

After all the ups and downs,

A simple touch

Sufficient to brighten people's life.

Regardless the ethnic, races, backgroud, skin color

A simple love of touch from a stranger

Significantly delighting someone for the rest of his/her life

The world is fulls of perverts, masked

How many of them truly willing to give out a hand when people needs it?

Be faithful, be helpful, be genuine

When we manage to help, even a littleeeeeeee

It's still consider a Help

You'll never know with this little help

How many of them keep on survive in this world

You'll never know how thankful they are for the chance of keeping survive

Some of us are too blessed, some of us are not

Balances needed via the helping hand...

一夜情

2008-06-20T14:06:00.020+08:00

硬朗的男子气概
诱人的胸膛
眼前迷恋已久的你
今晚让我有种不能自拔的兴奋
有种不能抗拒的欲望

决定
舍弃规矩的外衣
利用酒精的效力
音乐的锦上添花
给你撩起爱的欲望

将手怀饶你的颈抛个狐媚眼神
跳起了煽情的热舞你目不转睛
悄悄在节奏最热烈时往你脸边靠
轻舔你的耳再献上一个吻
腹部感觉热
被澎湃的热情俘虏了

你的手在我腰间
我的手环绕你的颈
我俩随着音乐摆动
陷入忘我的境界

酒精的催化澎湃的内心

手上下游动被热情地音乐给覆盖

你迷恋我的女人香

我恋上你的男人味

彼此尽情的狂欢

柔软的舌尖温柔的嘴唇

发热的耳朵发麻的头皮

煽情的音乐撩人的触摸

热情的拥抱狂欢的尽兴

舌头热烈的交缠着
压抑不了的热情
吻了一次又一次
敞开的衣领隐约的胸膛
诱人的触感
松了口往你颈上吻去
种下一颗颗的草莓

音乐停止了
热情仍蔓延
卸下黑色连身短裙
揭开衬衫的纽扣
继续是夜未完的情节
沉溺于热情的温柔。。。

沉淀

2008-06-20T13:35:00.003+08:00

感情逝世了
心情平复了
眼泪枯干了
笑容再现了

雨过天晴
柳暗花明
舍弃昨天
迎接明天

放下过去的一切
决定让心重新出发
宁听世界的美丽旋律
慢慢地探索内心的自己

探索一切
出发之前该将心沉淀
随着时间的流逝
内心会变得更充实
唯有未来的他
方能体会沉淀的香醇
一种只为他绽放的浓郁香味

她。你

2008-06-19T23:23:00.010+08:00

以往
她
眼里的事物
耳边的旋律
嘴角的上扬
都被你的一举一动牵动着

之前的甜蜜
之前的快乐
换来今日的沧桑
换来今日的痛苦

现在
她
血液的跳动
心田的漩涡
脑里的记忆
都被你的一言一句折磨着

你听见了吗？
她内心的挣扎

你看见了吗？
她眼眶里的泪

你曾认真地体谅过？
你曾认真的爱过？
你曾认真的守护着？
你曾认真的爱着？

她单纯的爱着
你复杂的爱着

爱情的领悟

2008-06-18T10:52:00.006+08:00

人的一生里难免会碰到不少的挫折，免不了会跌跌撞撞。也许今天的你拌了一脚，明天跌了一跤，后天一个四脚，再来一个朝天。乍看之下，不幸的事似乎不断地围绕在我们的生活点滴里，不曾离去。但，既然不幸的事是免不了会发生，那就既来之，则安之，唯有将失败的几率减到最少，领悟其失败中的意义，让自己的生活不再黑暗里度过。告诉自己，相信每一次的失败，都能造就一个更好的自己。锻炼自己，提醒自己：正面解答，逆向思考。只要肯换个方向思考，人对眼前的事情必定有另一番的解读。凡事往好的方面细考，人自然会轻松很多，自然不执著。
‘正面解答逆向思考’ 这是一句很有用的一句话。。

结合身边的例子，最让人执著的失败，也逃不过是感情事。恋人往往执著于自己付出地多少，给的够不够，做的够不够好等等的事，为的是什么呢？也只不过是希望身边的他能永远待在身旁，给与自己向往的爱情。人，有付出，就会希望有回报，自然的，付出的一方就会盼望对方会给回相对的付出。这样的相处方式，不累吗？
试想想，左算右算，计较这个计较那个的爱情，是一段可以经得起考验的爱情吗？是一段可以持续到老的爱情吗？非也，至少对我而言，这样的爱情，我宁可不要。我要的，是一段可以互相扶持到老的爱情，真心真意，一个可以让我依靠但不迷失自己，一个不介意他是否比我付出得多的男人。。。

无可否认，世上仍有些人，是不会将爱情里的付出与回报看得那么重，他们往往是一群不起眼的人，只希望对自己爱的人付出，真心的付出不要求其回报，看到爱的人开心，他们就开心，单纯的一个想发那就是对自己爱的人给与自己可以付出的感情，以行动证明自己的忠诚。这样的爱情忠诚者，虽然有时会是一些很木纳的人，但这样的爱情，不是正是我们向往的吗？虽然说很多事，并不如我们想象中简单，也许这群人会被人嘲笑是一个笨蛋，盲目的为对方，必定是心怀不轨，假惺惺等等之类的中伤；但，我相信，在这要求双赢，利益当首的世界里，仍然还有一部分的他们是怀抱着一颗赤子之心，只求对得起自己，对得起别人，爱自己要想要爱的人，誓死保护心里的他，不把付出与回报看得那么重的人。我相信，复杂的世界里，仍有着简单的人。

在爱情里兜兜转转，跌跌撞撞的，时而欢笑时而哭泣，但，我觉得自己失去的并不比得到的来得多。虽然，跌倒后总有股冲动想回到原点，但，这并不意味着我想重得已逝的感情，只是想重新评估自己，想停下脚步，回头看看过去的我以及现在的我，到底有怎样的改变。理智点，自己是清楚知道的，过去的，就回不了头，失去的就该让它随风而去。失败后，停下脚步，看看自己的得与失，才是最关键。

就算心里还是很怀念曾经的某个他（注：我并不是说自己，放下了就是放下了，别误会），有些事真的需要清楚地提醒自己，爱一个人，并不代表一定要拥有他，把它藏在最心底，无论在那里，把它给牵挂着，不好吗？至高无上的爱情就是肯舍弃，明知不能在一起，但不强求，将对方放在心底，衷心的祝福他。很多事是勉强不来的，倒不如用宽宏的心祝福他可以找到他想得到的幸福，这样不是更好吗？虽然不能一起快乐，但，至少祝福他能遇见自己的幸福。

要知道，人生中就只有自己是最疼爱自己的人，若太过于执著于一样不能得到的东西，最后伤地最重的，依然是自己。许多事是不能强求的，有时，雾里看花总比赤裸裸的解剖来的更有魅力。懂得释放自己，对自己好好的，这样人生才不会白白的浪费掉。只要还活着，只要心存善念，只要拥抱希望，明天的日子会是美好的。要疼爱别人之前，第一点要做到的就是得学习怎样爱护自己。若自己对自己没安全感，没信心的话，那又怎样给你爱的人一个可以被依靠的感觉呢？若继续颓废下去，自己的人生又会是怎样的呢？

跌倒了，要懂得爬起来，继续未完成的路。没有谁能左右你生活里的进度，就只有你自己。

Ready to Love, but....

2008-06-15T18:36:00.006+08:00

I am ready to love, but this doesnt mean I am ready involve into a love relationship.
ready to love only la aiyo, there is different in-between...

I am ready to love, but I never say I will only love the opposite gender.
remember? homosexual and bisexual... lol~

I am ready to love, but I prefer to love friends first.
female friends always the VIP.... my baby [J]ocey is the VVIP~ muacks!

I am ready to love, but it doesnt restrict merely to romance relationship.
preferably spend time with friends more...

I am ready to love, but this doesnt indicate I will open-up my heart to everyone.
please remember the key if wanna to go into my heart....

I am ready to love, to love myself more than others.
love myself before allow other loves me...

I am ready to love, the first one I will love is BABY JOCEY
should say in this way:
Baby Jocey is someone that I will never give up from loving her. ngiek ngiek.

lol~

p/s: Baby, lets go for pool, bowling, The Curve, sunway and bla bla bla....

What If...?

2008-06-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

Alright, suddenly think of this....

What if I AM A LESBIAN, what would other think about this?
lol~

R@cHeL 漂浮天蝎蕾切尔

累了

PLease

GOD DAMN THING!!!

Today's story

April Fool

Man. This called M-A-N

奇怪

无感觉

无奈

宝贝，妈妈爱你

Tonight

Sob

Released

能不能？

Can I make it?

F.U.C.K

My BABY

Disclosure

Working

Spot the differences

Blue

Happy Birthday to ME!

Celebration

Singing Man!!

Early Birthday Celebration

Consequence of over-dependent

Money

Something I wish my man can do for me

I..MISS..YOU

...

LEAVE ME ALONE

一首歌

原来 我想你

Well-kept

Economic Crisis?

That's Why - MLTR

NEW Spec

Bla-ing about ME

Back

记忆

老顽童 vs. 小顽童

A word

T-H-I-N-K

Again

逃避。过去

Stupid-ing

BLUE

无聊

Morning

Amnesia

你看见的改变

To J

shut-up

曾经。现在

Tests

我的 “哎呀弟弟“

Heart of Greed / 溏心风暴

－有趣的晚上－

Exhausted

[DND]

Tonight

老顽童再次出击

甜甜圈

Accident

问题少女

放过我

矛盾

梦

卡门

[过]

星座 AND 测试 (Part 2)

Please

测试 AND 星座

Study Look

老顽童 vs. 老可爱

糟糕

Lewis

宝贝[J]

突然想[婚]

原来我想你

不要爱上我　(updated)