Friends are getting married one by one, "when would be my turn?" they asked. I remain silent and smile.
Noone would understand the horrible fear in within myself, it just haunted me continuosly. I am living in fear whenever touch on this topic. Yes, I am being avoidant whenever this topic raised up. I never dare to think it thoroughly. I A-F-R-A-I-D!!!
Yes, I am afraid. I even dreamt of how worse my life would like when I have my own family.
-Lost my child in supermarket.
-Put on fight with him and divorce.
-His mom guards me when I am doing house keeping.
-Over-dependent until lost myself.
-Prepare food for him and house burn at last.
-Frustrated and torture my child.
What a disaster, these really make me afraid to become wife of him.
I afraid that I could not be a good wife to him.
I afraid that I could not manage a good relationship with his family.
I afraid that I could not be an understanding life-partner to him.
I afraid that I could not satisfy him.
I afraid....
The most important thing is that I afraid the sweetness, the tolerance, the understanding, the loving, the patience in the current not-yet-married-relationship would change. I afraid! I really do.
I never dare to imagine how my life would be if I become his wife. I never dare to answer his question when he asks me the relevant questions.
相见容易，相处难。彼此现在的相处是否会在日后结婚后变卦， 没人可以给于我一个担保。我真的害怕。