Bla-ing about ME

Finally, I am up here and leave some words in my long-ignored blog.
(hmmm, feel sorry to it tim.. If I apologize to my blog, would it be noticed? hahaha, gila syok!)

Ever since I disappear in the past few months, I learned and changed. Either good or bad, it is mostly depend on how you judge. But to me, I feel pleasant with these changes.

As I know, the only way to help myself to feel more comfortable and treat myself genuinely is to stand still on my points and do something without consider on others' expectation on me. And, in order to build up a healthy relationship and a stable foundation, I had realize what I need is to be somewhat selfish and to be less considerate. Sounds bad right? But, this was what I learned from the past, I need to be like this, it is a prevention for me from repeat my faults. Honestly, these kind of confrontation were indeed hard to me especially when it comes to the circumstances where I need to deal with the special one. The unpleasant tendency of trying to please and be dependent are the most challenges to me.

I had been struggled a lot to reach my desirable destiny, to me, it is a huge step. Along the journey, I fell into the depressive mode repeatedly; throughout the years, the process of self-identity-seeking never stopped.

From time to time, I dreamt of this day, and now, I am proud of myself where I am heading to my freedom destiny! Yahoo! The efforts that I invested in the past successfully shaped me a better tomorrow, applause for myself. =p And now, I know who I am, and I would never feel sad on myself and never feel shame and lost in the journey of self-seeking, because, its a path that we need to go through at least once in our life.

Day after day, I'm become more comfortable with myself especially when I need to deal with someone special to me. Am I controlling? I don think so (may be I am, but I have no intention to be like that). Am I unpredictable? May be I am, I never enjoy that way where people could predict what I going to do next. I know how to invest my feeling bit and bit into a relationship, and I know what kind of relationship I am looking for.

I enjoy being myself now! I found myself!

-end-