累了

我累了 心累了。。。

再也无能为力了。。。

我尽力了，但还是改变不了什么。。。

丁点的变化都没有。。。

我无言以对，你依然觉得自己是对的。。。

不被珍惜 不被谅解。。。

我的心好痛 碎了 撒落满地 拼凑不起来。。。

我真的累了。。。

算了吧。。。

欲哭无泪 干了 无供应了。。。

该任由你摆布了吧？

该变成你的专署傀儡了吧？

这是你要的结局吗？

Man. This called M-A-N

Conversation between a reporter and a successful business man: (it was paraphrased)

R= Reporter
B= Business man

R= Sir, could you please share with our audience of what makes you become so successful in your business?

B= Oh well, it's all because of my wife. She is the one who should receive this pride instead.

R= Although you are a millionaire now, why you still choose to work everything by yourself instead of allocated them to your employee? What makes you work so hard actually?

B= Hahaha, once again, my wife. As a man, I need to be a reliable man to my wife, so I need to constantly work harder so that I have enough money for her to spend. I would never want her to live in poor with me.

HOooooo, how sweet the man. This called M-A-N!!!.

无感觉

我发现，原来，我迷失了方向。

每一条走着的路，都似乎是为了走而走。

每一个决定，都似乎是为了作而作。

每一天，都似乎是为了过而过。

每一个笑容，都似乎是为了笑而笑。

我脑袋，空得很。

突然，我觉得我丧失了生存的意义。

突然，我觉得我存在的价值已不知所踪。

我。。。

再见。。

宝贝，妈妈爱你

现在我相信，
狗狗是人类的Best friend

Baby, 你是mommy永远的宝贝
你昨天的眼神，
真的好让mommy感到窝心。
当我哭泣的时候，
你乖乖的躺在我怀里，
不反抗。

Baby, 虽然你很调皮，
但，当mommy需要静静的时候，
当mommy伤心的时候，
你总是静静的呆在我身边。

Baby, mommy爱你。
谢谢你

Tonight

I think,
You have misunderstood me.
It breaks me, It hurts.
I cried silently, but still discovered by you.

I guess,

Your heart break too, in the silent moment.

Perhaps,

You are thinking and wondering why I said so to you.

May be, you do not like to see me cry.
May be, you do not want to tune-up your volumne.
May be, you are controlling yourself.
May be..

Baby,
Please do understand that is not a comment,
but merely my feelings.

My dear, I didn't mean that,
I had explained to you.
I do respect them, so do your culture.
What I need the most is time.
Sufficient time for me to learn to adapt myself in a totally new environment.
Never worry too much on the interaction between them and I.

Sob

It supposed to be a beautiful night for us,
but why it had become so?
I think,
I just shouldn't take the initiative to reveal my feeling to you next time.

Cry silently, really silent,
is actually very torturing and suffer.
Just as torture and suffer as lack of breath to survive.

能不能？

回想他曾问我的问题，
这一切，
是否都发生的太早了呢？

我知道他一直都想拥有自己的家庭，
我又何尝不是呢？
但，
这问题问的未免也太早了点吧？

他三番四次的探听，
婉转的问我是否会嫁给他，
说真的，开心的部分不胜烦恼的部分，
除了吓到还是吓倒。

不是我不想嫁，
只是时间上会不会太早了呢？
不是我不爱你，
只是问题在于我想再飘流几年。

心里不停得害怕着，
他说的4月过后会是何时。
心里不停地犹豫着，
他会不会是想用“婚姻”将我套牢。

我想
我是真的害怕结婚。
我没信心。

Frankly,
我也只不过23岁，
正值少女与女人的交换界。
我真的不想那么快结婚，哪怕只是订婚。
我想好好的享受我那迟来的自由。

别说我不爱你，
这是两码事，
并不能并以共论。

我爱他。
他是我的避风港，我的依靠， 丈夫的适合人选；
但，宝贝，
能不能别再提起结婚的事？
我真的害怕。

Can I make it?

Friends are getting married one by one, "when would be my turn?" they asked. I remain silent and smile.

Noone would understand the horrible fear in within myself, it just haunted me continuosly. I am living in fear whenever touch on this topic. Yes, I am being avoidant whenever this topic raised up. I never dare to think it thoroughly. I A-F-R-A-I-D!!!

Yes, I am afraid. I even dreamt of how worse my life would like when I have my own family.
-Lost my child in supermarket.
-Put on fight with him and divorce.
-His mom guards me when I am doing house keeping.
-Over-dependent until lost myself.
-Prepare food for him and house burn at last.
-Frustrated and torture my child.
What a disaster, these really make me afraid to become wife of him.

I afraid that I could not be a good wife to him.
I afraid that I could not manage a good relationship with his family.
I afraid that I could not be an understanding life-partner to him.
I afraid that I could not satisfy him.
I afraid....
The most important thing is that I afraid the sweetness, the tolerance, the understanding, the loving, the patience in the current not-yet-married-relationship would change. I afraid! I really do.

I never dare to imagine how my life would be if I become his wife. I never dare to answer his question when he asks me the relevant questions.

相见容易，相处难。彼此现在的相处是否会在日后结婚后变卦， 没人可以给于我一个担保。我真的害怕。

My BABY

My christmas present from my significant one. Hubby knew I scare of doggy actually, thus, in order for me to overcome this fear, he decided to buy me a puppy.

Now I introduce this naughty fella (Tze Shu) to you guy.

Name: Baby
Age: 2 months old
Gender: Male

This pic took when hubby and I had our dinner at Station one.

Baby was slept when we are on the way to my home. cute*

It's bedtime!. Time to sleep, and put blanket for him. For fun*

He doesn't like to play witht his ball. He is getting fatter actually.

Disclosure

It's time to give this recognition to this man, whom I love in this world besides my family members and friends -- Uncle Alvin. He is someone whom I really can be myself when spend the time with him. Comfortable is the only word that I can used to describe this relationship, despite the love.

I have been with him for 7 months, but I never disclose this relationship to neither my friends or parents until last months. I know it is unfair to him, but I have a significant reason to ought to cover this relationship.

Throughout these 7 months, I try my best to cover this relationship from my parents. They were suspecting though, but I just pretend as nothing happened. However, this secret was disclosed during new year eve BY MY SISTER, when we were in 6th aunt's car. Mommy was there too. Blush* 6th aunt asked a lot of question for mommy to check Alvin's background.

The first day of new year, daddy question me about this relationship. I thought he will angry intially, but he is kinda agree after some chat with him. So, there is no more worriness on my side, but Alvin, as he needs to present his best to my parents to verify his status. hahahah*

-This pic was taken when Alvin celebrate birthday with me-