understand me? oh, you are not

Friend: What happen to you?
Me: I'm OK, nothing happen =) (a typical answer that I used to respone)

Friend: I read your entries in blog, soon I realize I not longer know who are you. You are a stranger to me. I not longer understand you.
Me: Should say you never understand me and never have somone who can truly understand me too.


I am type of people who don like to simply share my personal problems verbally with anyone unless I trust in the person. Simple, because I found its so damn difficult to open my mouth and open up my heart to share it, especially when its related to some issues that I so wanna to share but don want others beside this person get to know it,on the other hand. So, in the sense, TRUST is what I want.

So far, there is only few peoples in my life that I would share my problems with, and I supposed you know who you are -- Jocey, DC, Franky, my little monkey.

Another reason is I'm so intolerant with the need to explain the whole story from the beginning to the certain level where it stopped and the intention of others on digging all the information but turns up with "oh, I see" and shut-up afterward.

Yayayaya, you may say I'm lazy, so? I just don care. Whatever. And I'm pretty sure some of you may raise up a question on: "If you don explain on it, how could others help you and advice you then?" OK, let's make clear on this, when I choose to share my personal problems with you, its already means I will answer any questions that you asked, unless I feel uncomfortable with certain raised up issues. So, vice versa-ly, if I answer you "I'm ok", "I'm fine", "Nothing happen" etc, come-on, its kinda obvious that I don want to share with you, so, please be smart in moving your next step, stop approaching to me. When I say 'NO', I mean it.

Frankly, its kinda 'huh?" whenever people tells me that he or she not longer know me or understand me. I'm wonder how could you understand me when I don even know who I'm now. And, I am wonder to know why you want to understand someone, your intention.

As I used to say, I would never allow others to see through on me, and thus, do not ever try to understand me and 'predict' what kind of reactions I probably will react. I'm just unpredictable in what I want to question, what I want to say, and what I want to do.

I learned, to protect myself
I learned, masking myself when dealing with different people
I learned, reluctant to share my problems with someone beside from the 4 persons mentioned above.