Sensation Journey with my MTW

The very first time in my life time!! 

Yesterday, I had spent a great night by drowning into an awesome orchestra, never thought of attended to this kind of occasion in Malaysia. I am seriously thankful to MTW for the invitation to enjoy this sensation journey together.. 

Goose-bump once the musical and choirs started, it was "yummy"!! Throughout the whole performance, every senses were easily stimulated by the pace/flow, the tempo, and the wonderful music from each of the music instruments. Although the language wasn't in English, but somehow you could really feel and understand whats the story behind through the awesome teamwork and gorgeous chemistry between the conductor, the choir and the musicians.. If you allow yourself to receive and stays calm, you could actually "see" those vivid images in the air with eyes-closed.. It was A.W.E.S.O.M.E!! 

Of course, this awesome sensation journey completed as whole with my MTW by my side.. The overwhelmed excitement and satisfaction from MTW were still lingered around freshly in my mind.. Simply charming yet naughty.. 

Undeniably, words just tooooo primitive and restrictive to describe how awesome the experience is and how sense-thrilling we both had yesterday, this is absolutely amazing and MTW... 

It's a start of our MTW journey too.. Thank you for allow me and invite me to join what you wanted to do in the past 8 years.. The pleasures are all mine.. 

"IIAMPTBYMTW"

Hazy KL

It's been a week, the haze seems getting terrible day by day.. It's just an hour after we started work and the hazy condition getting serious and terrible.. 

Please do drink more waters and avoid from outdoor activities if possible.. Take care everyone! 

Me - June 2013

Can u spot the dark circles around my eyes? 

Can't see? How about this? Nearer shot... 

 

My career

Joined the new company for 1month and 1week, and I have my first good news where one of my candidate got shortlisted for hiring! Whether he accepts the offer or not, this definitely serves as a confidence-essential to me.. According to my colleagues and country manager, this is indeed really fast for a newbees who just joined the company to have candidate get shortlisted in the first 3months of their employment..

Although the fast pace of the current workplace really tiring and exhausting, but I believe with the constant efforts and genuine approaches I applied into my work and the subjects I am dealing with, I believe positive outcome is somewhat around the corner.. But, expect with no disappointment, no matter how's the outcome would be, I accept them as whole..

As I chose to enter into this industry, I had chose to in love with what I do and I am definitely enjoy doing this.. I am just in love with the growth and challenges I have everyday.. And I am responsible for what I had chose for myself..

Chose = Enjoy

It's just a month ever since I joined this new company.. I knew its not an easy task to survive here, but  I chose to accept this challenge and prepared myself of going to have a work-life imbalance lifestyle.. Nobody force me to do this, but myself..

From the 1st day I reported to work, I told myself that I have to put more efforts and build up reputation again.. Therefore I willing to do anything that assigned to me and do my very best to absorb whatever information that sent to me.. This one month time, I have attended countless training and meetings, went for numbers of client meetings, conducted numbers of interviews with candidates and bla bla bla.. But still, I am still in the midst of learn to juggle around to achieve all the KPIs.. Seriously, there is no free time slot for you to relax or do something else.. And there is the reason why there is no much different although Facebook or Skype are blocked..

Although I am one of the newbies in this batch, somehow, from their body languages and the questions they asked me, I know, I need to perform... for they have high expectation on me! ...for I am the only consultant from recruitment background while the rest of the consultants are from the industry they covering now.. ...for I used to be the top performer in my former company... for I earned good comments and recommendations from others.. And now, trust me, I am stress like hell!! I am constantly remind myself to be careful and alert and need to put more effort into the tasks I do. Afterall result is what they wanted the most and that's the only thing that can prove them didn't made the wrong decision to take me in.. Therefore, I fight, I do, I learn, I ask and I study...

My team undeniably supportive to me, they never pressure me but helped me a lot.. I appreciate.. And same to my manager.. I was once a leader of 2 juniors, I understood the feelings and the pressures from the management..  Therefore, I want to perform and then he wouldnt get question by the management.. And Today, I cried!! I can't imagine that I cried out of sudden!! And I know, I am pushing myself too hard and I am pressured myself too much..

But anyhow, I won't give up..
I chose this as my career, therefore I enjoy the toughness, the challenges and the obstacles I would face..
I chose to let go everything I had in the past, therefore I am enjoy and welcome the weird alien IT terminalogy that possible to facilitate me to build up my own empire..

I chose, therefore I enjoy.. No matter what shits happen...
I enjoy talking to people from different level...
I enjoy listen to their stories and experiences...
I enjoy the challenges I have on human..
I enjoy seeing the uncertainties on mankind..
I enjoy doing negotiation..
I enjoy the process...
I enjoy the career I chose...
Therefore I am thankful to the obstacles I am having now and glad that I still able to take it..

Though cried, but I will not give up!! Never!!

May 2013

Time flies..

It's been a month didn't update anything here.. In fact, May 2013 was a great month to me and what happened in this month had brought me significant changes and development in almost every aspects in my life.. I'm seriously anticipate the constant growth within myself..


Highlights of my days in May 2013:

• Joined a new company located at KL city.. Allowed myself to forego what I had gained in the past and started it again.. 
• Glad that I had chose to escape from the comfort zone and now building a stable foundation at my dream destination despite how much fears and worries I have on the unforeseen uncertainties in the near future
• Started to rely on public transport that seriously drives me crazy especially during the peak hours.. Personally don't think there is any different on the volume of the crowd during the peak hour or normal hour.. 
• Learnt a new technology from someone and started to apply it in my daily life... Discipline and constant practice is definitely needed to master this new technology.. When it introduce to the world, I am sure you will amazed by it..
• Discovered new meaning of "love" and how amazing it could be.. A new level of love..
• Proud to have BFF in my life and everyone that offered help to me... Those who chose to trust me and accept who am I and those who supported me and value the efforts I put in my work and seriously appreciate my capabilities... 

Rainbows after the rain, it's indeed happened! I know I am blessed and loved by anyone 

I am the luckiest girl with lots of loves surround me... 

Muacksss.....

Journey of Self-Confrontation

Saw the pictures in my iPad and iPhone... I guess I should have utilize them and do a quick self-confrontation for the recent significant incidents.. Somehow, sometimes pictures speak more than words... Therefore, I decided to upload few pictures that sufficient to describe the stories...

The journey starts:-

I have used to message you early in the morning everyday... Although I know sometimes may not get any replies from you, but somehow, you will still reply later in the day to invite for the dinner after working hours.. Hence, though didn't receive any replies from you in the morning, but I am still anticipated for the next reply in the late evening or noon...

However, things changed since 28th March 2013, I never received any replies from you anymore.. And I know, something is happening, I could sense it from the sudden detachment from you... Wondering what's wrong actually...

I know that both of us are busy in our own career, but is it possible that you being such close to me when you are by my side.. The tender touch, the warmest hugs basically speaks everything.. But why can't I get these from you? And now, you are so "stranger" to me... It's scary on this sudden change...

One day, I saw this quote from Facebook, and I saved this picture immediately. Somehow, the first thought that crossed my mind was: "Should I let you go and myself, too? Since you are not giving any answers or responses and seems not listening to any of my explanation and being ignorant to all my emotions and feelings, should I still reserve a place in my heart for you?" I am wondering.. The back-and-fore of the thoughts killing me gently each day..

Know what darling, I am just a woman, but I have to be strong.. Have you ever see the tears in my eyes and the bleeding heart that you were once cared and loved? Have you ever imagine how fragile I would be.. I am just standing alone at the place where you left me out of the sudden, and you just walked away determinedly and reluctant to look at me again, not even the messages and feelings I shared through WhatsApp and notes... You are just as cruel as cold-blooded serial killer....

        

You knew that I never complaint that you do not have time for me or you are not caring or considerate enough.. In fact, I knew that both of us are trying our best to catch up for dinner and movie whenever we have time.. Doing things together and spend the time together... I knew your job nature, it's always on 24/7, it's always a fire fighting job, therefore, I never meant to occupy your time fully but gave you sufficient   freedom and space to busy on your task, although how much I wish you tell me that: "My dear, it's ok, you are more important, I keep you accompany first".. Well, this never happened though, but it doesn't creates any disappointment too for I truly understood your characteristics and your passion in works.. But why, this became the reason of yours for the detachment? I seriously don't understand on this...

This was the first picture you took for me in Japan... Undeniable, you are a capable man, but your egoness and self-centered thoughts sometimes really screwed me up, but somehow, I am still ok with these... You left me alone to carry the luggage by myself... You never take initiative to hold my hand... You never take initiative to hug me... You never take initiative to kiss me... I am ok with all these and I took the initiative to do all these... No complaints... But I wish you could sense the souls within myself... Well, no point to think of this anymore, you are just don't give a damn anymore..

Darling, It's been a month you didn't contacted with me, I receive no replies from you on the messages I sent to you and the diary of mine.. Hmm... You did replied, a short one: "Sorry for hurt you, we are still friend.." That's it??? Nothing much? The already-broken-torn-apart-fragile-heart being torn apart again... Ya, with no possibilities to heal... By the same person again and again... Throughout the month, I kept reviewed again and again on the conversation we used to have in WhatsApp.. How lovely you were.. But now, you become a stranger I not so familiar with.. You are distanced yourself from me and trying to cut off everything from me..

This was the last picture that I took at your place.. I still remembered the question you asked and the changes on your face immediately right after my replied... Ya, I should have knew this was the key-trigger point that caused up all these unwanted issues.. But, you chose to leave no rooms for me to explain and you just reluctant to listen nor accept the explanation but replied: "This is my lazy straw, sorry!" And you sent me home immediately.... And, decided to cut off everything and burnt the bridge that was once reconnected both souls..

Went to Bali with my secondary school mates, it was indeed an enjoyable trip... But somehow, your name and those past memories vividly reoccurred in my mind again and again  especially before bed time... It was really killed me.. Gosh! I covered all my emotions perfectly in the trip itself, until the pains from my wisdom tooth rescued me from release my long-struggled-dreadful-unpleasant-emotions together with the tears.. Ya, the tears of pain deceived my fellow friends who thought I cried crazily purely due to the painfulness from my wisdom tooth... I am so sorry on this... But I seriously need to release my emotions, else, it is damn unhealthy to myself...

It's been almost a month time, I should be wake up from any expectation or hopes, as these would not happen anymore... I knew the truth, I knew the facts,I knew what's going on in the company and what's going on with you and her... Somehow, I need times to accept what had my mind informed me and what it had accepted... Yup, I am struggling between my overwhelmed emotions and the god-damn-rational-thoughts... Please, I just wanted to escape from the truth.. Please don't pull me away from the memories.. Although I know I shouldn't...

I have 2 offers on hand, I would like to discuss with you and seek for your advises  too. Besides, I was very much bothered by the gossips and rumors in the company, too.. I am in need of someone to talk to.. Somehow, you just don't bother and simply threw me few sentences as advises . Never mind, a week later, I have made up my mind.. I have decided the one that most suits me for the next 5 years and decided to tender and ignore all the untruthfulness in the company.. 

Whenever I checked the latest news feed in Facebook, I would see quotes like this.. A very reminding quota and positive quotes that encouraged people to forgo the past and moves on the rest of the time... It's indeed motivating, initially... But, my Scorpio's characteristics seriously can't ignore what was happened, I am waiting for the answer... I need the major reason why caused the broke up... Ya, I am stubborn...

The mood swing, the roller-coaster-kind-of-feelings, constantly happened in April... I could be awake and decided to let go in the morning, but tend to find out why in the next minutes... Seriously killing me... I am just insane.. Therefore, every time I m encountered this kind of mood swing episodes, I will switch on my phone and record the feelings, a diary of mine for the April 2013... From love to hate... And from hate to miss... And from miss to loss... And from loss to miss... And again from miss to love... These kind of feelings... Never leave me... I m struggling and trying my best to find the adequacy and balance point... I am trying my best to strengthen my rational than the evil emotions traps... Trying... I am seriously trying....

Today (30th April 2013)... A date that I would never forget... Emotional crushed! I never expect that I would meet with you again, and under this occasional.. Crap!!! I am weighting my emotions and professionalism... It's indeed torturing.. I have to remain calm and host the meeting as if nothing else happens, react as natural as I could, being as friendly as I could and trying to collect more information from the managers and get my mission accomplished... But on the other hand, the fragile and broken heart bleed again silently... The trembles in my voices and the tenses, the blushes on my face, all the non verbal languages, did you notice them? No!

It's indeed a long long day for me... After the meeting, waiting for candidate and HR to have lunch together.. To help them get to know each other even more and intended to get them closer so that easily for the juniors to get things completed in the future when I am no longer in the office but they still manage to handle the account effectively. Please don;t think about him...

It's half past 7pm on 30/4, no one in the office, as usual, I am the latest to leave company again, although my resignation was finally accepted... Oh crap!! Last day of April, is it the time for me to cry even more? I have forgotten how many pails of tears I have filled so far... Countless? May be... The trigger was from the reply of yours... Short and simple, emotionless and cool... Great! Cried again! Some of my friends gave me emotional supports through words.. Yes Gor, I had promised myself this would be the last time I cry for someone that no longer love me.. Once the end of 30/4, mui mui Me, will not cry anymore.. Yet, David, you are the only one dropped by office and be there for me... Seriously thank you.. Perhaps both of us also Scorpio, so you understood what I needed and you were just be there silently and offered your shoulder to me... Bro, thanks a lot... 

Cried for 3 hours, should have headed to Cheras for gathering with my primary school mates... David, thanks again for being my driver, although you were terribly tiring that night after the never-ending fire fighting in work.. Was had a great evening with my fellow long lost friends.. And yeah, they are spontaneous enough and organized a trip to Penang by June! It's good to meet with them again...

It's new month, new beginning.. Don't know why, today just like awakening... Surprisingly feel released and free... The weight deep inside my heart is far way lighter and the negatives emotions as well as the miserable thoughts just surprisingly faded away.. Good start? But yeah! I am indeed very much enjoy this kind of changes.. It's just... Hmm... Which word to describe would be the best huh? Hmmm... Ya! Newborn!

My fellow colleagues... The juniors and seniors.. I am particularly felt sorry to my juniors - Melvin & Jing Min whom I guided half way.. I am sincerely apology for leave both of you in this company but decided to pursue another milestone of my career.. But I promise both of you, as long as you still need helps from me, text me or call me, I will give my hand to both of you at anytime and anywhere..

Early group photo with my colleagues...Haha, obviously, I am the princess of the day.. Ya, I am gonna miss the days and nights I spent in these 2 years in this office..We have hand in hand and faced all the difficulties in these 2 years, though we have arguments and holds different perspectives, but still, I am thankful for having all of you in my life and supports me and guides me.. I like this picture very much, as apparently, I am the main character.. LOL.. 

Memorable April 2013

Dear Rachel in April 2013,

Beginning of the month - May 2013, a brand new starts to myself... A new self always shaped by the past experiences, hence, in order to keep these memories, I am here to write up a summary of what were happened in April 2013...

April 2013.. Seriously, it's indeed a tough month for me in my life so far.. Seriously... I am overwhelmed with all kinds of negatives messages and emotions.. For I am facing endless painfulness and despair feelings throughout the entire month of April.. Though I covered it well, but somehow the tortures are sufficient to tear my heart into thousand pieces and bleed everyday silently without anyone knows about this, but exceptional to those whom I shared with..
(I was thinking, perhaps, I am having all the good things all these while and now He is trying to take away something from me and placed various obstacles on my path to test if I am strong enough to accept the best He arranges for me later in my life)

Difficulties or dilemmas in April 2013:-

Career:
A new opportunity in career:

• Have been worked in this company for more than 2years, everything happens just as planned. Joined as Junior Consultant, then got promoted as Senior Consultant by December 2012, and eventually undergone probation of 6months to become Team Lead officially. I was assigned to guide 2juniors within these 6months. The appraisal estimated will be done by June 2013. 
• Well, I have to say that the relationship between both of the juniors and myself is just wonderful and pleasant.
• As everything happens as planned, so I never apply or look for new career opportunity. 
• However, Feb 2013, a long-waited-yet-unexpected opportunity approached!! Surprise!! A manager from one of my top 5 companies called for interview. Normally I would just reject the invitation, but I just couldn't resist myself from saying "NO" to this invitation.. So, I accepted his invitation without any second thoughts occurred. 
• Attended 4 rounds interview with all the managers and directors.. The whole recruitment process took around 2months to reach the final stage - shortlisted for hiring and peding for offer package... Excited!!
• Oh yes! How could I decline this offer? Definitely YES!! Everything just matched my expectation!
• Commencement date in negotiation.. And, I am very much anticipate the upcoming changes in my career and life!

Dilemma begun:-

• As waited for the offer, attended another interview from the another company.. recommended by colleague..
• Oh crap! This is where the dilemma begins! 
• Offer letter presented in front of me immediately after the interview session with the managers.. Salary offered is higher than my dream company.. Opportunity or career path is somewhat similar in my current company.. And it is what I wished to get from my current company also, just that things changed due to the politics... Oh gosh!!
• My dream company provided the exposure and professionalism I am craving for; and yet this new company provided the leadership and authorities I am craving for.. Crap! 
• So, which path to choose?
• Had various discussion with friends, buddies and parents.. confusing.. The more I discussed, the more I confused myself. 

Doubts:-

• Should I trust you for you are my manager? 
• Should I trust you for you are my senior and team leader?
• Should I trust you for you are my colleague?
• Should I trust you for you are my country manager?
• Should I trust you for you are my candidate?
• Should I trust you for you are my potential future boss?
• Should I??????

Other issues raised unexpectedly:-

• Rumors, gossips and pretenders sometimes seriously kills!!
• I never expect that myself will be the target for the rumors and gossip!
• And because of these rumors, I decided to leave this company no matter how! This is just a hell for me! 
• Oh crap! Seriously, I just hate you all! You all made it! I rarely have such strong hatreds on people.. 
• Rumor 1:
• "She is too close with the juniors.. "
• "She is the rumors creator among the juniors.. "
• "She is teaching the juniors being disrespectful to the seniors.. "
• "She is the one who spreads the negative energies to the juniors to demotivate them in achieving sales... "
• "She is the one who teaches the junior not to obey or comply to the KPI.. "
• "She is the one who persuades juniors to look for other opportunity rather than staying in this company.." 
• Rumor 2: 
• "She used dirty trick to get sales.. "
• "She used her body to exchange sales and closure.. "
• "She is unprofessional.. "
• "She is just those 5354 woman.."
• Rumor 3: 
• "She is trying to override your authority... "
• "See, your team members all sides hers... "
• "She is just disrespectful to you... "
• "Her wings are hard enough already, so she doesn't need guidance anymore... "
• "She never respects you as her senior though.. "
• "Her sales are far more than yours, that's why she never take your advices seriously.."
• Know what?! These rumors just break my hearts and my impression on you guys! We have been colleague relationship for 2years more and I just never expect that you all will attacked me in such harsh way.. Does this benefit either one of you? How fake you all! I am just regret that I only able to discover all these after 2years.. I am seriously got affected by these... 

Relationship:

• The sudden detachment with an unexpected reason from you really hard to convince me that we are done.. The given reason was just simply nonsense I would say.. 
• Those sweets and lovely moments in the past seems nothing to you and apparently you were not appreciated at all.
• The coldness, coolness and assertiveness from you, seriously, I feel heartache each day.. 
• Checking on the time stamp in Whatsapp of you and her is even drives me crazy.. Why don't you just tell me that you have another new target but gave me the lame reason? 
• The broken heart and the broken bridge that connects both souls, did you aware of that? 
• Do you aware that you had broke this fragile heart and bridge deliberately again? Twice! 
• Do you know that I do have the choice to not to accept you for the second time back on November? But I chose to re-accept you and obviously I am giving you the second chance to hurt me again.. Am I stupid? 
• Why can't you appreciate of what I have done for you? Why can't you treasure the time that I chose to spend with you? Why can't you see that I am sincerely treating them nice and love to mingle around with them? Why can't you see the compromises? Why cant you try to be understanding and get to know the reasons behind? Why you are so ego and self-centered?
• Seriouslyy, this despair yet dreadful feeling really kills me.. But I know, you just wouldn't care at all..
• But, the conflict, the complicated relationship seriously affected my performance.. I just hate it.. Arg!
• I have sent you all the diaries I wrote in this month, mostly the feelings I have on this relationship, but never get your replies.. Or may be yes, few words.. Again, the heart bleed even more upon the receipt of your replies. 
• Your cruelness, sufficient to sentence me undoubtedly, to death.. 

With all these happened, my emotional seriously got affected and ya, it's just as if living in hell, for both internal and external.. Emotional unstable, doubt on myself, doubt on the trusts and friendship, doubt on my capabilities etc..

In April, I tried hard to pretend that I m ok.. I tried hard to ignore everything that happened.. I tried hard to not to confront myself.. I tried hard to escape from the ugly truths.. I tried hard to lie myself that everything is just a dream or liar.. I tried hard to convince myself that everything will be fine.. I tried hard to this and that, which I do not practice normally.... In short, I just don't want to face the reality, ya, trying to be denial... Ya, denial for a month! 

On 30th, I met you again, unexpectedly, oh crap! Things just challenging my borderline seriously!! I am questioning myself repeatedly, "Am I able to cope with the uncertainties within myself and still being professional"? No answer from myself, but I know I have to no mater how...

Oh! Please! Arg!

Why I never be informed that you are invited? Do you see the struggles? No! Do you see the uncertainty in my eyes? No! Do you feel the tense? No! Do you see the trembles on my hands? No! Gosh! I shouldn't have expect anything from you! I just need to remain as calm as I can and host the meeting and get the mission accomplished, I still have to be the role model and be professional. Oh well, yeah! Everything just happened as I wished..

Finally.. Thank God! I made it!

But... Crapped! Emotionally collapsed in the late evening after read your message! I cried for 3 hours in the office! Ya.. I cried again!! Crazily.. Luckily there was no one in the office!! Know what? I have used all my tears quota for the year.. So, I promised to myself, this gonna be the last time to cry for all these, I have to be mentally strong and not to be such fragile anymore..  Actually, I supposed to attend to my primary school gathering at 9pm, but I still cried like a big baby in the office! Anyway, I still manage to attend to the gathering at 10pm after Mr.David accompanied me in the office.

Seriously, I am glad to have my buddies and friends with me during my down time! Seriously thankful to them for keeping the secrets and treasure the trusts I have on them..
Special appreciation to:-

Mr.A, who initially my candidate and now become my brother! Thanks Gor, for listen to me and bear with me although you are facing the same problem with her too.. Thanks for your time and advices, although I know it's superb difficult for you for you are struggling there too.. Thanks for your kindness and generous..

Mr.TWK - complicated relationship.. My candidate's friend's friend.. Thanks boss, your accompanies through text and calls during the office hours seriously touched me and your advices really useful in making the decision.. Your knowledge transfer seriously benefits me and I am glad to have you and your unconditional concerns..

Mr.David, who same as Mr.A, used to be my candidate and now become best buddy! David, thanks for your accompany that night.. Your arrival in the office is seriously touched me, you were tired that night, you are in bad mood too, but you still dropped by and be there for me, silently, besides me.. Thanks for the shoulder, the silence and privacy you gave me.. With your occurrence and concerns, I felt much better after that. And, thanks for be my driver and partner to attend to the gathering.. Seriously, thanks and I honestly appreciate this... Of course, thanks for brought me out to relax and sang out all the dissatisfaction and keep me accompanies.. Scorpio! My favorite horoscope ever!! Thanks!

Mr.Someone, thanks for the advices and acceptance to listen to someone who was insane and crazily in need of answers. Thanks for your patience and calmness and your acceptance on this Scorpio..

Miss P & J, my colleagues and best buddies, both of you, thanks.. Nothing more I can say besides this, both of you knew me well, clear of the incidents and experiences I faced throughout the months and years.. Thanks for being my side and listen to me.. Thanks for being my advisor, my counsellor and my toilet-kaki.. 

Now, everything is ok and under controlled... I have made up my mind on both career and relationship.. I know which one is the best for myself! The sudden awake just refreshing my soul.. That's wonderful and awesome!! Never been such BETTER!!

Ya! I am saying Good-Bye to my hell April and welcome the sunshine May... Though April wasn't that pleasant to me and indeed tortured me a lot, but thanks for all the experiences and ugly truths... I learnt... Without these, I wouldn't know and wouldn't learn these lessons that couldn't be purchased with money... Thanks... Sincerely thankful.. I will keep this in mind, as a reminder to myself, never repeat the same mistakes again in the future.. 

Everything happens for a reason. Perhaps, what happened in April was a preparation for myself  to enter into a total new working environment. Perhaps, it was also aimed to strengthen my emotional and mentality.. No matter what the purpose is, I am glad for the experiences and incidents I had in the past, without these breakthroughs, I am not who I am now... 

Regards,

Rachel in May 2013.. 

Theory of Glass of Water

What would you describe "WATER'?

Okie, how about you are assigned to accomplish 2 missions as below:-

Mission 1:-
There is an empty glass placed on a table, and a jug of water placed just besides the glass.

Your mission is: You are required to fill the empty glass with the jug of water that prepared on the table, amount of the water is not limited.

So, how much water would you pour into the empty glass?

Mission 1: How much water would you pour into the empty glass?

Mission 2:-
So, you had made up your mind on the amount of the water that you wanted to fill into the empty glass, and you had filled it up.

Your mission now is: You are required to fill in the remaining water from the jug of water into the same glass. Hence, you are required to pour out the water from the glass you had just filled before fill it up again.

So, how much water would you willing to pour out from the glass before adding in the remaining from the jug?

Mission 2: How much water you willing to pour out from the glass you filled just now?

Do you know what is the aim of these two missions?
What did you learnt then?
Well, it's just a projection of the real-life situation.

In Mission 1, the empty glass actually represents an individual who knows nothing, and the jug of water represents the hunger of knowledge or desires to exposure this individual possessed. After the glass filled with water, the remaining unfilled space basically represents the room for the individual to grow.

In Mission 2, the filled glass represents the knowledge you gained through the experiences. So now, the question is: Are you willing to pour out the water from the filled glass and refill it with water again? Which this actually implies the question of "Are you willing to empty your mind again before crave for new knowledge?"

Try to think in this way:-

• Are you willing to give up everything you have now and start all over again?
• Would you open your heart to accept the opinions from others?
• Would you set yourself free from expectation or assumptions before trying something new?
• How much sacrifices you willing to make in order to achieve your goal?
• Are you flexible enough to adapt into different circumstances?
• etc..

So, by adopting the lesson of water into our real life scenarios, as below:-

Scenario:

"RT is a Senior Consultant in a company, and have serviced for more than 2years. Throughout the 2years services, she is the Top 3 performers in the company, she was given a lot of opportunity to involve in charity management, account management, client management and people management. However, she is well-aware that what she is currently doing basically just wouldn't helps much in the professionalism development she dreamt for in the industry, and there are not much rooms for the career growth in this company, if she wants to go further in this path"

"Now, she has an offer on hand with a reasonable salary package from a MNC company, but she has to start and build her career all over again, which is back to the junior consultant role and prove to new employer of her capability again. But on the other hand, she is already well-established in her current company. She is basically in the team lead list and she knew that she is gonna promoted to be team lead officially in 2months time." 

So, tell me, what would you do  if you are RT. Would you let go everything - sales record, title, knowledge, clients, reputation, client and candidate database - that you have built throughout the 2years in the company and restart and reestablish the reputation from zero again in new company?

The above scenario is just a small portion from our real-life. There are a lot more real-life scenarios happened 24/7 and 365 around the world. I believe, yourself, do experience this kind of dilemma..

So, ask yourself today: "Am I willing to empty my glass of water?"

 

 

Resignation

The 1st resignation letter that I ever prepared

FINALLY... My resignation is accepted and approved after struggled for a week from the day I tendered. It's really a tough decision to make though, but I know I have to make it no matter how...

The offers from both current and new company are what I am aiming all these while, although the direction somewhat different but it is still in recruitment industry, something I love to do where it could helps me to expand my social network and get to learn from some other people through their sharing :)

Boss, I know you have tried your best to counter-offer me with everything I wanted in the company in order to help me to grow in my career. I know you applied some psychological tactics in the negotiation throughout the discussion in this week, and seriously, you actually succeed in changing my mind, once. That's why I am struggled a lot as I know I would definitely regret if I let go my another offer and choose to stay in current company..

After went through all those tough moments, all the gossips and rumours should have just leave it here.. By May onwards, I shall have a brand new beginning in my life and career.. I am anticipating it... I know, I can do it!

Prophecy of Watches

Christmas gift 2012 - SEIKO

It was a total surprise to receive this watch as Christmas present from someone that I never ever expect will have such heart-warming action. Seriously, I am in love with this watch, and even appreciate the meaning behind as well as the efforts of this someone..

However, it's somehow a priming effects to me, now..
A dreadful one...
A heart-breaking one...
An unexpected one...

So, would you curious how could a watch can become a variable to provoke certain hidden feelings or emotions?

So, would you curious about why watch seems to be so unfortune to me?

So, why I would set this post as Prophecy of Watches?

Back to few years back, I received a CASIO watch as my birthday present. Things initially went kind of smooth and lovely, I would say. And then, after some times, something bad happened! And I took quite some times to get myself out of the hell..

And... this time, I received this SEIKO watch as Christmas present.. (2nd watch in my life).. Everything seems alright and lovely and seems everything under control and expectation.. However, shits happened again! Unexpectedly! And this time, this shits seriously affected my emotion and yeah, I am back to the hell, again...

I didn't think much though whether receive watch as present would be a bad sign or whatever.. As times passed, somehow, I believe that, perhaps "watch" is a prophecy of an ending of something I am owning at that moment of time..

So, should I have tell my friends never include "Watch" in the present list to me? Please, please do not ever take away my belongings anymore...

Ya, undeniable, I am still in the shits, still in the self-healing/self-rescuing process, I believe, it will takes me quite some times.. But I will try my best to back to normal.. (hmm, sounds so weird with this "normal" word, lol)

In short, personally, I believe that...

"By receiving a watch as a gift means I am going to lose something SIGNIFICANT in my life"

 

WhatsApp

有没有试过发呆的看着电话荧幕，懊恼为什么他/她明明就在线上，可就偏偏得不到他/她的回复呢？

有没有试过三不五时就查看他/她最后上线的时间？然后很想知道为什么他/她会上线呢？更想知道他/她到底跟谁在聊天呢？

有没有？有没有？有没有？
有！有！有！
我都有！谁会没有类似的经验呢？
我承认我有，很神经质，我知道。。

越是在乎，越是想看。。
越是查看，越是胡思乱想。。
越是乱想，越是逼自己走向崩溃边缘。。

我知道，我不应该。。
我知道，我该好好的控制自己。。

我以为，我真的可以潇洒地放下，什么都不理，不看，不要知道。。
我真的以为我这次可以。。
殊不知，原来我还不能对此事潇洒。。
反复的假潇洒把自己给逼得快疯了。。为什么要苦了自己呢？

我能不查阅WhatsApp的最后上线时间吗？
我知道，我需要时间。。

２０１３年的４月

在４月里，发生了一些接二连三挑战我极限的事。。到底想怎样？

这些困扰，多得让我不能呼吸，多得让我觉得人心难测，多得让我后悔为什么没有好好的保护自己，多得让我觉得这世界真的很恐怖，多得让我觉得心灰意冷。。
原来，我是多么的无知。。好可悲。。　

终于，在脸书里找到这么一个角落，一个似乎可以解答为什么我会那么的惆怅，那么的失望的地方－〉天蝎座 、Ta-的心情。

好喜欢里面对天蝎的描述：－

“天蝎座不怕吃苦，不怕受累，不怕面对困难，最怕的是对极其相信的一件事或一个人发现竟然全是假的，如果你辜负了我的信任，你将永远失去我 。。。”

“天蝎外表总是很冷很酷，第一感觉通常会给人一种斯文/文静而神秘的感觉，会让人有种生人勿近而又想深入了解的矛盾感。如果你能让天蝎御下自身的保护色并成为你的好友。你会发觉天蝎其实心底善良，重感情，易感动，多愁善感，敢爱敢恨！天蝎走的是极端路线，你对他一点好，他将十分回报。。”

 

 

“蠍子愛忽冷忽熱..愛在視察身邊人的想法..通過了審批的人蠍子將義無反顧的提供幫助..無法通過審批只能受到陌生的冷漠..總會情不自禁的生成保護色..只因害怕受到自己傷害..請別嘗試挑戰蠍子底線..因為只要你真的傷害了蠍子..蠍子會讓你後悔認識了他/她..蠍子的座右銘是君子報仇十年未晚。”

 

 

“不要对天蝎说谎，再高明的谎言也逃不过他的敏锐。不要以为他不知道你在欺骗，他不动声色只是因为他在思考，没有做出最后决定，而他的决定，通常情况下都是放弃，即便他对你有无限的爱和不舍。他的绝望与崩溃不会让你看到，哪怕他苦到极点，你看到的，仍然是一个平静的天蝎 ，因为还没爆发。。”

 

“天蝎座这个孩子，越难过就越不想说话，越难过就越喜欢听悲伤的歌曲，越喜欢虐自己，然后把自己想得一文不值，把世界骂得狗血淋头然后，难过好了，骂完了，又恢复笑嘻嘻的模样，又是一副没心没肺的样子。。”

很无奈，却要假装没关系；
很害怕，却要假装很勇敢；
很生气，却要假装无所谓。

我不明白，为什么明明就是你，却要假装置身于事外？
我不明白，为什么明明就知道，却要假装你毫不知情？
我不明白，为什么明明可以证明的东西，却要视而不见？
我不明白，为什么会是我？

此时此刻的我，眼泪不知流了多少回。。

天蝎女，真的有那么让你们讨厌吗？对你们真的有那么大的威胁吗？