silence

Attended to PSY303 this morning, a tired morning to me. yawn~ know why? Because I only had 7 hours of sleeps yesterday night, there is one more hour lacks in my regular sleep times. Since last year, I need to have 8 hours of sleep times everyday regardless when I sleep. The 8 hours of rest time are the essence in my day.

In class, Gerry talked about silence.

Silence in counseling session could be a major threat to a counselor. The time of silency is the most scariest time DURING the session. Silence from a counselee may represents (1) he or she doesnt knows what to say or respond, (2) he or she not understands what the counselor talking about, (3) he or she thinks the counselor cant help them though, (4) he or she hesitate on the issues that he or she going to presents or the statements which come out from the counselor, (5) he or she may re-think if what he or she did was the wrong movement, or (6) some other unnoticeable reasons. Well, if the counselee insists remain silent after several approaches had been taken or used during the sessions, nothing much that a counselor can do after that. You just cant force your client to talk if he or she doesnt wants to, or else, adverse condition creates (if needed, 'force' could be a good method though, hahaha~ But its all depends on how serious and how useful are the information from the client, counselor needs to examine the level of the posisble upcoming issues).

In reality, when one remains silent, peoples around tend to be very 'ke-po-chi' and asks "Hey, why you remain silent? Come, tell me your story, see if I can help you anot". And, some of them used to be over enthusiastic in digging what one doesnt want to reveals: "come on, tell me what happened. why this why that?" Its so annoying, ok? Some even worse, they tend to use 'friendship' as a bet: "Don't want to tell me is it? Don treat me as friend la, right? Ok, fine, thats it" Gosh, sounds so childish and ridiculous.

Come-on, there must be a reason behind the people whom choose to remain silent. What for to keep on pressuring on others to tell you what they concern on when there is no point for them to reveal their thoughts? To those who behave in such way, you are reminded that Everyone have their own privacy, own secret, and own comfort zone. There is no point to force them to tell you their grandmother story, and there is no point for u to cross over other's boundaries. Thats their life, not yours, why you bother so much since they resist so much from letting you know or into their world?

Besides, silent doesnt mean there is something happened in the one's life. Perhaps, he or she merely wants to remain silent without any reasons after talked so much in the day. Or, may be he or she wants to rest the mind and doing some planning? Who knows the real reason of being silent beside themselves? So, silence doenst means a bad thing, it may be a positive though.

I believe, when peoples need to talk, they will talk; when peoples want to talk, they will talk. But, when people dont want to talk, no matter how you force them to talk to you, they just wont bother you. Even if they bother you and tell you something, how many of them who really talk to you with their open heart? So, when peoples need to talk and you are there, they will tend to talk to you more openly and freely; but when peoples don want to talk but you are there, please remain silent as well or just leave him or her alone if he or she doesnt needs anyone besides.

Remain silent might be a warning of others on "stop appraching me". Thus, please be smart in reading those nonverbal cues.